Makes No Difference
by sunnyNsc
Summary: Emma unwittingly makes a wish at the same time that a shooting star plummets to the earth. Unbeknownst to her, it comes true. And this is the hilarity that ensues. This story will feature Emma, Regina, and Hook. Swan Queen is endgame.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: This is Swan Queen all the way. Emma unwittingly makes a wish at the same time that a shooting star falls out of the night sky. And as we all know, when you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Everything your heart desires will come to you.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Pairing: Emma Swan/Regina the evil queen/Hook (it's not what you think so give it a chance.)

Note: After reading the hate another author got for including Hook in a story, it made me reluctant to want to finish this and post it. I did anyway. This is a fanfiction. As far as Once Upon A Time goes, I am well aware that Swan Queen will always be a distant fantasy. That is why I am writing fanFICTION! I don't hate, so please don't hate on me.

Makes No Difference Who You Are

Chapter 1

Using her forearms for balance, Emma rested against the pier over looking the sea where the Jolly Roger was docked. The night sky greeted her in her finest evening wear. A dark black gown sprinkled with a multitude of glittery diamond like stars. Emma sighed loudly after looking at her watch. Hook was late for their date. Emma looked back at the sky in time to see a streak of a bluish white light plummet to the sky. "Regina is always on time," Emma thought absentmindedly to herself. "I wish Hook were more like Regina," Emma huffed to herself out of frustration. She didn't have the chance to ponder her thought more as she heard the approaching foot steps of her date on the docks.

"Djd you see that?" Hook called out to Emma.

"See what?" Emma replied looking around to see if something was amiss.

"Just a falling star," he answered matter of factly leaning over to place a kiss of on Emma's left cheek. "Sorry I'm late love, shall we go?" He asked holding out his right arm in an attempt of chivalry. Rolling her eyes, Emma begrudgingly took the proffered arm.

"Your charm can't get you everything," she muttered under her breath.

"Ahh, what's was that Swan," Hook teased with bravado, "Did I just hear you admit that you think I am charming?"

"I don't know how dating works in the Enchanted Forest or in Neverland but it is definitely not good form to keep a lady waiting," Emma informed her date.

"Well would it make my faux pas any better if I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" Hook asked seriously looking deep into Emma's eyes. Emma grabbed his arm tighter trying to camouflage the blush that spread across her face. "Alright, you are forgiven," she giggled and the pair continued on the way to their destination.

Meanwhile, across town, the Mayor was in her home office catching up on some errant emails that she didn't get to during normal business hours. A certain annoying sheriff occupied the time allotted to answering emails discussing the possibilities for the date she had later that evening. Certainly not being one for "girl talk", it was only because of the forging friendship between the two women that the mayor even entertained the discussion. She halfheartedly listened commenting occasionally but not that Emma noticed. She was too busy to notice that Regina couldn't care less about the topic of conversation. Finishing her work, Regina powered down her computer leaving her office opting to get ready for bed. She ran herself a bath to help wind herself down and ease the tension of the day away. Sinking into the tub, her mind wandered to Emma and her date. She couldn't understand what Emma saw in the smarmy pirate. In her opinion, Hook was no where near good enough for her friend. And if she was being honest with herself, she wasn't sure there would be anyone that was good enough for Emma. Because it was not just Emma that this man would have to be good enough for. He would also have to be good enough for her son. In that arena, the bar was set incredibly high. But if she were being completely honest with herself, Regina would be able to admit that she didn't think that there was any man out there that was good enough for Emma. However, all her pondering made her realize how bleak her actual love life was.

"At least Emma has an option in the bilge rat of a pirate," she thought sadly to herself. Storybrook was not filled with many potential suitors. If there was, it was doubtful anyone would be brave enough to approach her. The one man that was brave enough, ended up leaving her out of a sense of duty, of honor, of commitment. She didn't want to fault him for that, but in the end, Regina was just a woman. And it hurt.

"Karma's a bitch, a she has GPS," Regina whispered softly to herself. Finishing off in the tub, the Mayor readied herself for bed. Regina picked up the book on her nightstand content to read until she was tired enough to sleep.

As Regina slowly awoke from her peaceful slumber, she could swear she heard the squawking of seagulls in the distance accompanied by the soft slapping of waves hitting against a pier or dock. In fact, she could also feel the gentle roll of waves as if she were on a ship, while the smell of sea permeated her nostrils. She open her eyes hesitantly against the harshness of the bright morning light. Once her vision was adjusted, she slowly took in her surroundings.

"What the hell am I doing on the Jolly Roger," came out in a deep baritone voice. A voice that unequivocally most certainly did not belong to her. Sitting up quickly, Regina caught her appearance in the mirror across from the berth.

"What the hell?!" she shout out in alarm. Scrambling hastily from underneath the jungle of sheets to her feet, she realized that she was stark naked. Not only was she naked, but her new appendage, or rather Hook's announced itself proudly at half mast.

"What the hell," she exclaimed in utter disbelief.

Across town, Hook woke up in a similar predicament. Not that he minded finding himself in the body of a woman. Under normal circumstances, being in the body of a woman meant that he was engaged in some sort of sexual situation with said woman. But he was actually in the body of a woman, and not just any woman. He had turned into Regina Fucking Mills. Hook was now the Evil Queen. He squealed in horror upon this revelation causing him to pee himself a little bit. Realizing his bladder was screaming at him in protest, he set off in search of the lavatory. Finding a door to the right, he ended up awestruck as he surveyed the Mayor's extensive collection of designer clothing. This admiration didn't last long as his bladder re-announced itself with a pang.

"Hmm, I'm coming out of the Mayor's closet," he chuckled at his own joke as he exited the massive closet. The second door proved successful and he approached the toilet. Facing the toilet, he unceremoniously dropped the pants and underwear so that they pooled around his ankles. He nearly busted his ass trying to figure out how to get himself over the toilet so that he could aim properly.

"Oh right," he muttered to himself, "The lasses have to sit down to accomplish this task." Turning around, he perched himself daintily on the toilet sighing in sheer bliss as he let it go. Finishing up, he spied the roll of toilet paper, and proceeded to tear off a square. He used the slip to wipe only to find that such a small sheet clung to his hand. He shook his hand wildly trying to get the offending piece of paper off. It was then, he realized that he had another hand again! He used the other hand to removed the soiled toilet paper dropping it in the toilet. He didn't feel like he got the job done the first time so he decided to go in a second time. This time, he took the roll of toilet paper and wrapped it around his entire hand. This worked well. He got off the toilet, and was washing his hands when he heard banging coming from somewhere below. He hurried out of the room, and down the stairs realizing someone was at the front door. He fiddled with the multiple locks on the door opening the locks with a click to reveal his very self seething in unbridled anger.

"You," the Mayor who found herself in his body said menacingly, "You did this!"


	2. Chapter 2 Freaky Friday

**Chapter 2: Freaky Friday**

Regina stormed into her house causing Hook to back peddle on his heels. Regina slammed the door so hard the pictures on the wall rattled.

"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?" she shouted punctuating her question by poking Hook in the chest.

"Ow," he said slapping her hand away, "That hurts!" Hook rubbed his chest over the tender spot created by the offending digit.

"Stop that this instant," Regina ordered in her most Evil Queen tone.

"What, why?" He responded clearly perplexed as to what he could've done wrong to incite the wrath of the Evil Queen albeit in his body.

"That is my body you are touching," she informed him haughtily, "And I don't like that you are touching it!'

"Really? In case you haven't noticed, love, we've switched bodies and that is what you're concerned about?" Hook replied sarcastically, "Besides you don't see me getting my knickers or rather yours in a twist because you've obviously had to touch MY body."

"Don't remind me," she uttered in disgust, "I would've been here sooner if not for having to deal with your body." Hook stepped closer to Regina eyeing his frame in concern.

"What do you mean," he asked in alarm, "Is there something wrong with me?"

"Yes," the Mayor exclaimed in exasperation, "If you must know, it was very difficult to get dressed in the state you were in this morning." Not getting her cryptic innuendo, Hook impatiently tapped his barefoot against the floor waiting for further explanation. Huffing, Regina continued to try and explain her predicament. "I couldn't get your pants over "it" as it was in a semi-erect state. Not to mention having to use one good hand and a Hook. Do you have any..." Regina couldn't finish her statement due to Hook's eruption of laughter. He was laughing so hard that he was doubled over, his sides aching.

"I don't see what is so funny!" Regina shouted indignantly, "You should be grateful that I didn't march over here completely naked!"

"Ah love," Hook said taking deep breath to quell the waves of laughter still threatening to spill forth, "Was my little Roger Jolly this morning'?"

"I would call that little by any means," she commended offhandedly causing Hook to sputter in sheer disbelief.

"Regina," He stammered, "Did I just hear you correctly?" Hook looked at Regina eyes wide in shock. "Did you just compliment my um, my um..."

"Yes dear," she affirmed with a smirk, "Size matters and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Now can we please get back to the topic at hand?"

"Oh you mean the size of my sails in the morning?" Hook teased.

"Yes you heathen!" Regina retorted, "Can you not exercise any self restraint!"

"Regina love, tis called "morning wood" for a reason and it will most likely be like that each *morning," he said taking pity on the confounded Mayor, "I can't control it anymore than I can control the tides but it usually abates after using the latrine."

"Ah," she replied in understanding, "That must relieve some of the pressure. Good to know."

"You are welcome lass," Hook said smugly. Regina just dismissed his comment with a wave of her hand.

"We need to figure out what is going on," she said brushing by him on the way to her study. Hook trailed behind her plopping unceremoniously onto the couch.

"Someone used magic on us?" He offered in explanation. Regina paced the floors back and forth chewing on her lip while processing his suggestion.

"Magic would most certainly work on you but this house is protected against magic working unless it is mine or Emma's being cast," she countered.

"So what you are saying is that since you were here last night, no one could use magic on you or against you," he summarized.

"Yes, that is correct dear," she responded, "I was here. Maybe you came in contact with someone, what did you do yesterday?" Hook answered her immediately, "I was on the Jolly Roger with my crew for the better part of the day, then in the evening, I had my another date with Swan." Upon mention of his date with Emma, Regina felt her stomach churn at the thought. She was able to attribute the feeling to jealousy but erroneously chalked her feelings of envy over that fact that her love life was so abysmal instead of being envious of Hook getting to go out on a date with Emma.

"How was your date with Ms. Swan," she asked casually.

"It was great," he answered with a dreamy, far off look on his face, "I'm fairly certain that Swan is my happily ever after."

"Get that look off my face," the Mayor said in disdain, "Is all you care about is yourself?" Hook was about to respond but was cut off, "She is smart, she is kind, she is loyal, she is brave...so damn brave and she is so much more than a means to your happy ending!" Regina said vehemently.

"Okay?" he said trying to placate the annoyed Mayor.

"So if you are done driveling over your happy ending, am I to understand you correctly that nothing out of the ordinary occurred to you yesterday?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary occurred to me yesterday," he affirmed

"And it wasn't your birthday nor mine so it couldn't be that either," she sighed in frustration, "Well it could still be magic that was enacted retroactively. But I highly doubt that." At this point, Regina was basically talking to herself since Hook was ignorant of all things magic.

"We need to go to my vault," she said turning her attention back to Hook, "There is a spell we can do to see if we've been effected by anything magical."

"Wait how are we going to do a spell?" Hook wondered.

"Not we, you or rather me," she clarified.

"I have magic?" Hook asked incredulously.

"Magic is in my genetic make up," she explained simply, "So while you inhabit my body, my

DNA, you have magic."

"So if this is a magic, it can be reversed," he said excited at the prospect of getting back into his body where he belonged.

"If it is," she stressed, "Then in theory, there should be a way to counteract it."

"What do we need to do this spell?" Hook questioned.

"Everything we need is in my vault," she reiterated the need to go to her vault.

"Well what are we waiting for," he said springing off the couch making his way towards the door. Regina called after the retreating pirate, "You can not go out as me like that."

"Oh right," Hook said remembering he was still in night clothes, "Wouldn't want to sully your precious reputation by prancing around town in your silk pajamas now would we."

"I do not prance," Regina countered indignantly, "I merely walk with a purpose." She demonstrated said walk by leading the way to her bedroom. There was no way in hell she was going to let a man that dressed leather clothing for all occasions even attempt to clothe her. She grabbed her undergarments, hose, a magenta button down silk blouse, a knee length black pencil skirt and a pair of three inch black high heeled shoes setting them on the bed for Hook to put on.

"I am going to email my assistant so she can reschedule all of my appointments for today so we can take care of our situation," she informed him, "I'll wait for you downstairs." Hook waited until she left before stripping down. He approached the neat stack of clothes with interest. He slid the panties on with ease noting how comfortable yet sexy they made him feel. Plucking the bra off the bed, he held it up between two fingers inspecting it curiously. He noticed the clasp, and like any red blooded male in a females body figured that the clasp was meant to be hooked in the back. So that is what he did. He surveyed his work in dismay unable to determine why the cups that should have covered the Mayor's breast were in the back

"What is taking you so long?" Regina barged in to discover Hook standing in front of the floor length mirror wearing a bra on backwards.

"For heaven's sake," she chided the confounded man.

"Well forgive me your Majesty if I am more adept at taking a woman's clothes off than putting them on," he retorted defensively. Regina fumbled with the clasp, the task more difficult because of being handicapped by a hook.

"It's a front clasp, you idiot," she scolded him, "I figured it would be fairly self-evident. The breasts go in the cups, and then you clasp the bra together in the middle." Regina stood in front of Hook and assisted him with putting it on.

"This is one freaky Friday," she mumbled under her breath marveling at the strangeness of her situation. She was in a man's body, putting a bra on none other than herself. And speaking of being in a man's body, Hook's body began to tingle in the nether regions alerting Regina of its unwanted presence. Regina gasped in horror. Stumbling back, Regina cupped her hand over Hook's crotch.

"Hook," she cried out in alarm, "Something is happening!"

"What, what is it," he quickly rushed to her side. Prying her hands away, Hook instantly realized the cause of Regina's sudden distress.

"Regina," he said calmly, "My body is just reacting,"

"To what?" she asked her voice tight with strain.

"To the sight of a half dressed, beautiful woman," he answered honestly placing his hands on his hips. Regina's mouth tried to form words but nothing would come out making her look like a fish out of water. Closing her eyes, and taking a deep breath, Regina was finally able to respond.

"I am well aware that I am physically attractive," she said between clenched teeth, "What I need to know is how to make it stop!"

"Oh right," he said taking a step towards Regina. Before she could comprehend what was transpiring, Hook sucker punched her in the gut effectively expelling all air from her lungs with a whoosh. Regina doubled over in agony her arms wrapped protectively around her stomach. Panting for breath, she asked, "What the hell was that for?" Hook shrugged his shoulders motioning towards his now deflated crotch.

"Usually, I try to think of the most disgusting thing I can possibly think of...like the stench of maggots in the rotting corpse of a carcass," he said, "But since you needed immediate results, this proved to be a most effective option." Regina rolled her eyes at him still having difficulty making words come out of her mouth.

"What? It worked, didn't it?" Hook said feeling a little bit bad but secretly liking that he got to punch the Mayor.

"Yes, it did," she grunted cutting her eyes at him in a glare, "I suppose you will be wanting my sincere gratitude now." Hook shrugged his shoulders as if to say "Whatever."

"Do you think you can manage to finish getting me dressed?" she asked. Hook slipped on the shirt with ease before grabbing the panty hose.

"Bloody hell, these look like some sort of medieval torture device," he muttered under his breath.

"I'd offer to assist but well..." she held up her hook hand in explanation, "Be careful you moron. Those are my most expensive silk stockings!" Much to her chagrin, Hook managed to carefully slide the hose on without any snags. Once he was completely dressed, Regina surveyed his attire giving him a nod approval.

"That will do. Now come with me," she instructed taking his hand and leading him into the bathroom. "Sit." Hook did as instructed. He sat patiently while Regina managed to apply a light layer of make up. Again, doing it one handed was a bit of a challenge but she managed to make herself look presentable. The ensemble was complete when Hook slid the heels onto his stocking feet.

"Shall we go Madame Mayor?" he inquired flippantly before heading out the door down the hall towards the stairs. He paused upon realizing that Regina wasn't directly behind him. Turning around, he saw her staring at him with an eyebrow quirked in question.

"What now?" he asked exasperated.

"Not your first time in heels now is it dear?" she commented knowingly. Hook merely gave the Mayor a sassy wink before continuing on his way.

The unlikely due finally arrived at Regina's vault. She found the ingredients necessary to complete the spell and carefully instructed Hook on how to cast it. After several failed attempts, he finally managed to succeed. Regina sat on the cold steps to the vault in defeat.

"We're not afflicted by a magic are we?" Hook stated sitting next to her on the steps.

"No dear, we are not," she answered in a flat tone of voice.

"It could still be a curse of some sort though, yeah?" He said trying not to let his hopes for a solution go down the drain.

"Most curses are broken by true love's kiss," Regina said stating the obvious.

"Right so how will that work considering our unique situation?" He asked seriously, "Do you have to kiss Swan as me..."

"No I am certain that would not work," she replied.

"Why not?"

"Because our souls are the part responsible for recognizing who is meant to be our true love," she told him patiently as if he were a little child, "Our souls inhabit our physical body, and since I am in your body, that means my soul is in it as well."

"Ok, ok, ok," he said standing up in excitement, "That means I have to kiss Swan as I am now and you have to kiss Robin as you are now."

"Yes, that seems like the most logical solution to our current dilemma," she agreed.

"Guess you are going to New York while I've got me a Swan to nab and plant a kiss on," he said.

"If it works, we will know immediately but if it doesn't work, I can be back in Storybrook by dinner time and we can re-assess the situation then.

"Agreed," he answered, "If it doesn't work, we meet at your house later this evening."

"Let's keep this between ourselves for now Hook. And try to be a dear and not make of spectacle out of me in the meantime.

"No problem your Majesty," he commented dryly, "It shouldn't be too hard for me to walk around pretending that I've got a stick of me arse!" Hook was out of the vault before Regina could muster a reply.

"Be careful," he called down to her, the words echoing throughout the walls of her vault.

 **Up next: Hook finds Emma, and Regina find Robin**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Lay It On Me**

Regina managed to get on the road to New York by 10:30am. According to her GPS, she'd reach her destination in three hours and fourteen minutes. That gave her ample opportunity to plot how to make the life altering kiss happen. To be honest, she was more worried about how Emma would react to being kissed by her. They agreed not to tell anyone what was going on, so Emma was going to think it was actually her doing the kissing when in actuality it was Hook. She worried that Emma would be appalled by it, and it would disrupt the tenuous bond of friendship they'd just recently begun to forge.

 _"_ _Well,_ she thought to herself, " _None of it will even matter if the plan comes to fruition. We can explain what occurred and have a few laughs about it._ " Never in all her worried musings did she even consider that Emma might welcome and want to be kissed by her. If she were to consider it, then she'd actually have to confront her thoughts in feelings about that topic. It would be like drinking a large shot of truth in her cocktail of denial. She was no where near ready for that.

Hook, knowing Emma's routine fairly, well wasted no time tracking her down at the Sheriff's station. He was about to march in there, and lay one on her but he decided to sit on a bench outside the station to think it through. He decided the situation called for tact and finesse. He was not above admitting that those two things were not his forte nor part of his repertoire. Kissing Emma in front of the prying eyes of this small town would not be good for Regina if it didn't work. For the protection and sanity of all parties involved, he decided it was best to get Emma alone.

" _If it works, then we can all have a hearty laugh about it but first things first, the kiss_ ," Hook thought echoing Regina's earlier sentiments. Hook was deep in thought failing to note another presence until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he found none other than the exact person he needed to find. Emma was looking at him with concern shining in her bright eyes.

"Regina, are you alright?" she asked her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Umm yeah," Hook answered awkwardly being thrown off his game by her sudden presence, "Why do you ask?"

"Well I've only been calling your name since I walked out of the station and saw you sitting there," she explained.

"Yeah well, I didn't hear you," He responded.

"Hmm," she scrutinized the woman before her, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Swan. I am totally fine. What makes you think I'm not?" Hook answered.

"Well for one, I've never heard the word 'yeah' come out of your mouth EVER and you've said it twice in the span of two minutes, second, you never call me Swan. Miss Swan, Sheriff Swan, idiot but never Swan. You sound like Hook. And finally, when I went to your office , your assistant told me that you called out sick for the first time in like ever," she calmly explained.

" _Curse you Emma Swan for being so damn observant_ ," Hook mentally chastised himself vowing to be more careful pretending to be Regina.

"Nothing to fret about Swan, er Miss Swan," he corrected trying his best to sound like the diva Regina was on a daily basis, "I merely had some personal affairs that I must attend to today."

"Noting too serious I hope," Emma gently inquired trying to get the Mayor to open up.

"Well you know dear, serious things only happen here in Storybrook on the days that end in Y," Hook comment drolly trying his best to deflect the laser like attention being directed towards him. Fortunately for him, Emma took the bait snorting in pleasure.

"Why Madame Mayor, I do believe that was a joke, and here I thought you had your sense of humor surgically removed," she quipped. Hook recounted a bit of history Emma told him about her first interactions with the Mayor before answering, "You have no idea what I'm capable of." Emma laughed loudly at that while silently wondering exactly what had gotten into Regina.

"Listen," she said seriously, "I just want you to know that if you need anything like a shoulder to lean on, a friend to hold your hair back when praying to the porcelain god's after a night of drinking too much, or help hiding a body, then I am your woman." Hook looked at Emma in shock unable to comprehend why Emma was being so nice to the Mayor. Emma always spoke about Regina as if she made her life a living hell. Being in Regina's body gave him a chance to gain insight into her mind that he would normally not be afforded to so he decided to use the advantage in his favor. He never once stopped to think of how Emma would feel about being manipulated.

"Why would you do that?" he said looking Emma dead in the eyes.

"People change Regina," was all he got in return.

"Yes but why do you care," he challenged rising from the bench to effectively intrude on her interpersonal space, "Does it have to do with the lad?" Emma felt self-conscious by the proximity of the Mayor's body so she took a step back. It was like an awkward dance.

"By 'lad,' I'm assuming you mean Henry," she replied looking at him strangely wondering if Regina was channeling her inner pirate for some reason.

" _DAMN_ ," Hook cursed himself mentally for slipping.

"Of course I meant Henry," he clarified, "You care because of Henry."

"Well that's not the only reason Regina," she stated again offering little understanding. Placing his hands on his hips expectantly and raising his eyebrows in question, Hook waited for further explanation.

"Okay, well...um," she stammered trying to buy herself sometime to clarify her meaning. She was not the most adept at expressing her emotional sentiment nor did she ever expect Regina to call her on the carpet for it. Normally, Regina just took her word for things, and Emma liked that the stoic Mayor trusted her. This was different but not necessarily bad. She write it off as Regina trying to adjust to their new dynamic. Stuffing her hands into her pockets, Emma cleared her throat nervously before continuing, "I care about you because you are fierce about protecting what and who you love, you are loyal to those people even if they aren't always worthy of that loyalty," Emma paused taking a step closer to the woman she thought was Regina, "You are really smart, and not afraid to flaunt it, you are kind but you don't want anyone to know it because you think it makes you look weak, you are so brave that I know you wouldn't think twice about putting yourself in harm's way if it meant protecting someone you care about." By this time, Emma was so close to the body of the Mayor that Hook could feel her warm breath caress his cheeks. A hand reached out from Emma's pocket to tuck an errant strand of hair behind the Mayor's ear.

"The only word I can come up with that encompasses all that," she said in a soft whisper, "Is beautiful." Hearing the soft admission from Emma caused Hook to gasp. If Hook didn't know any better, Emma was about to kiss the woman she thought to be the Mayor. Alarm bells sounded swiftly in his had wondering if Emma could possibly have an attraction to Regina. It would make sense as to why he was having a hard time surmounting the walls of protection Emma had carefully constructed to protect her heart. Hook's attention focused on Emma's tongue slipping out to moisten her pink lips. He watched her chance a glance at the Mayor's lips. She ducked her head down in approach while Hook readied himself for the kiss he hoped would put him out of his misery. Holding his breath, and closing his eyes, he waited in anticipation. But it never came. They were interrupted by Arching strolling up to greet the two women. Emma jumped back, rapidly blinking her eyes in confusion.

"Good day ladies," Archie greeted cheerfully.

"Hey Archie," Emma answered quickly rocking back and forth nervously on her feet, "Where are you headed to?"

"I'm off to Granny's for some lunch. Would you lovely ladies care to join me?" he invited looking back and forth between the two women.

"I was actually headed that direction when I spied Regina here," she told him, "So yeah, I will come with you."

"Regina?" Archie asked expectantly.

"Huh," she grunted still slightly dazed but what almost happened, "Oh no dear please go on without me. I've got some things I must attend to." She bid her farewell to the pair.

"She seems off today," he commented offhandedly. Emma watched Regina's retreating back silently in agreement with the good doctor. She also admitted to herself that she was a bit off her game as well seeing as how she almost kissed Regina! The V-8 fruit and vegetable drink commercial where the lady gets slapped in the head for making a stupid mistake popped into her mind.

" _Should've had a V-8,"_ She thought to herself. As she walked with Archie, she made a mental note to get up with Regina to see what she thought of the situation. If Regina blew it off, she would know that she hadn't monumentally set their friendship back to the dark ages. If she didn't, well that would be another story entirely.


	4. Chapter 4

Hundreds of miles away from Storybrook, Regina finally made it to Robin's apartment. Traffic was atrocious and she found herself grateful to the curse for creating a small yet quaint town absent of all the fuss and muss of a big city. She found herself pacing back in forth in front of Robin's apartment despite time to think during the long drive, she still didn't know how to proceed. There were too many factors involved like what if Marion and Roland were home. Regina found herself sweating profusely which was a most unpleasant occurrence, one that she certainly was not used to be of the fairer sex. Wiping her palms on her pants, she winced in pain forgetting once again that one of her hands served as a hook. Sure enough, she tore a small, linear hole down the front of her leather pants. It turned out to be good thing as it allowed some air circulation to her sweaty nether region. Regina didn't think this situation called for subtlety, taking a deep breath, she found the courage to place three sharp raps on the metal door. After waiting a few moments, Regina figures no one is home so she makes to leave but is halted when she hears a male voice calling out from behind the door,

"Who is it?" the voice demanded.

"It is I, Captain Hook," she replied. After several clicks of locks being turned, Robin open the door with a stunned expression on his face.

"Are you alone?" Regina asked the astonished man brushing by him into the cluttered apartment.

"Yes," he answered shutting the door behind him.

"This will make sense in a little bit," Regina said stomping towards him. She grabbed the back of his head bringing his lips forcefully to hers in a rough kiss putting everything she had into it. One minute she is relishing the feel of Robin's lips once again pressed against hers, the next rough hands are forcing her backwards as Robin creates enough distance to land a vicious left hook to the Captain's pretty face.

"Ow!" Regina complained seeing a flash of white, and feeling a sharp pain radiate through the left side of her face.

"What the bloody hell, mate?" Robin shouted angrily.

"It didn't work," Regina mumbled rubbing the offended eye, "It didn't work!" She stormed past him roughly swinging the door open exciting the apartment leaving a bewildered thief behind in the apartment. Regina fished through her clothes looking for her phone to call Hook to let him know that kissing Robin didn't work. Realizing the idiotic pirate probably didn't have a phone, she cursed her way back to where she parked her car. Climbing into her car, she rested her head wearily against the steering wheel. Sitting there, she felt the fire of desperation flood her soul.

"That should've worked," she quietly lamented, "Why didn't it?" She snapped out of her reverie by the sound of metal tapping against glass. A meter maid was standing outside the car shining a flashlight on her face looking disapprovingly at her.

"Time's up," she said authoritatively.

"I was just leaving anyway," she answered starting the engine. Regina's mind raced as she literally sped down the highway towards home. Her thoughts were interrupted by an uncomfortable rumble in her stomach. She couldn't remember the last time she ate. Figuring she was making good time, Regina pulled over at a road side diner for sustenance. Sitting down at the counter, she gave her order to a girl with a pink bow in her hair. Regina couldn't help noticing the awkward glances she was receiving from people in the diner. Regina gave the waitress her most charming smile possible while ordering. This seemed to put the girl at ease because she started making chit chat.

"You should put some ice on that," she said pointing to the blackened eye. Regina brought her hand up to touch it causing a painful hiss to escape her mouth

"Here," she said offering a zip lock baggie full of ice. Regina smiled gratefully thanking the thoughtful young waitress. Regina used her hook hand to keep the bag against her eye, using her other hand to quickly devour her food. She got the check making sure to leave the waitress a hefty tip because it wasn't everyday you come in contact with a one handed pirate.

"Dear," Regina called after her, "Could you be so kind as to point me in the direction of the lavatory?"

"It's around the corner," she said pointing.

"Thank you," Regina said ambling her way to the bathroom. For her first time using the bathroom in public as a man, Regina bypassed the convenience of a urinal in favor of the privacy of a stall. Kicking up the lid with the toe of her boot, she sighed in disgust. She lowered her pants enough to access the appendage. Grabbing it gently, she aimed it towards the bowl. The rest took care of itself with ease.

" _Hmm,"_ she mused in her head, _"There is something a one handed pirate can do with ease."_ With a little tap, tap to prevent dribbles, Regina was done. On her way out of the diner, she spied a burner cell phone. If things were going to continue as is, she would need a way to contact Hook. If he somehow succeeded in changing things back to normal, she'd consider it a parting gift. Purchase in hand, she returned the lull of the open road.

 **Chapter 4**

After the near kiss between him and Emma, Hook tried to find Emma again to seal the deal. He didn't think that it would hard to accomplish since Swan was almost there on her own, but he couldn't find her. He searched Granny's in vain. The station proved empty. While Hook was skilled in heels, his feet couldn't take the agony of walking anymore They may look pretty, but they were murder on your feet especially after traipsing around town all day. He decided to return to Regina's house to regroup. He knew that she would eventually have to turn up there if she were the one picking Henry up from school. That gave him pause as well, what to do about the boy? He got to the house at a quarter past four. He was startled to find Regina sitting primly on the sofa.

"What the hell," he complained to the woman, "I bloody hell do not sit like that!"

"Hello to you too, and like what dear?"

"Like I'm some sort of prima donna!"

"What's wrong with you?" she asked shifting to a more manly position, "Did the kiss with Emma fail too?"

"It would've worked if I hadn't been cock blocked by the bug," Hook said sitting in the chair behind Regina's desk. He slipped off the shoes, and rubbed his aching feet.

"I beg your pardon," Regina said stiffly not understanding the meaning of the slang Hook used.

"We were about to kiss, but Dr. Hopper interrupted us." He said.

"What!?" she shrieked out loud sounding like a prepubescent Justin Bieber, "You were going to kiss Ms. Swan in public for the entire town to see?! I would never hear the end of it!I"

"I saw the opportunity, so I took it," he said unapologetically, "What's the problem Regina? Don't want anyone in town to think you practice in the love that dare not speak its name?"

"If you are implying that I am homophobic, do you really think so little of me?" she asked hurt.

"Well now that you mention it, you were the evil queen," Hook began. Regina shook her head as if to say "And."

"I just always figured that the Evil Queen did whatever she wanted with whomever she wanted," he finished.

"Hook you idiot, I have no use for labels such as gay, straight whatever," she explained simply, "I am simply extremely private about my intimate affairs. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing at all, your majesty," Hook replied sarcastically.

"Besides, the Evil Queen was too busy plotting out nefarious ways to get revenge on the world to worry much about getting laid!"

"Now that's a shame love," Hook winked salaciously at her. Cursing Hook for having the attention span of a flea, Regina was about to redirect the conversation back to the matter at large which was the matter of figuring out how to return to their respective bodies since the kiss with Robin failed but the door bell chimed. Hook and Regina crept towards the door like ninjas so no one would be alerted to their presence. It would be odd to anyone in town to find Hook spending time at Regina's while not in the company of the Sheriff. Regina peeked out of the peep hole.

"Who is it?" Hook mouthed dramatically.

"Emma," she mouth back silently.

"You need to hide," Hook hissed at Regina, "She can't know you are here."

"You don't have to..." she tried to protest but Hook ushered her away from the door,.

"Hook," she hissed trying again to get his attention but it fell on deaf ears. So she decided it best to find a suitable hiding spot. She settled for the closet in her den. Hook waited a few seconds to ensure Regina found a spot before opening the door with a toothy smile.

One hand on the door, the other on his hip, he greeted his friend.

"Hello Ms. Swan. What brings you here?"

"We need to talk," she replied seriously.

"Do come in then," Hook said sweeping the Sheriff in with her arm. The Sheriff chose to make her way to the very same den that Regina was hiding in. Regina was pleased at this development as it afforded her the chance to eavesdrop on the pair. She slowly cracked the door open so she could not only hear but discreetly observe with her eyes as well. She was glad Hook was one handed and not missing an eye.

"So earlier, what was that about?" Emma asked going straight to the heart of the matter. Hook paused to think of how Regina would respond. He decided she would not pussy foot around the situation either.

"You were going to kiss me," he answered her truthfully

"And you were going to let me," Emma countered with equal truth daring Regina to contradict.

"Yes, I was," he said with a simple shrug of his shoulders. Regina's eyes were glued to the interaction. She couldn't believe what she was witnessing. Emma was openly discussing the possibility of a romantic encounter with her as if it were just a walk in the park. There were a herd of wild horses galloping through her stomach making their way up to her pounding heart.

"And now," she asked taking a step closer, "Will you let me now" Hook closed the distance between them so they were standing toe to toe breathing the same air as one another. Regina without heels was significantly shorter than the blonde sheriff. Standing on tippy toes, Hook rested his arms on Emma's shoulders for support.

"I must admit I am curious," Hook whispered sensually. Emma couldn't wrap her head around what was happening. While her attraction was not sudden, the acquiescence of Regina was new. With her heart in her throat, her body acted on autopilot. She tilted her head to the side dipping in to reach the other woman's lips. Hook and Regina didn't breathe. The tension was thick like an early morning fog on the harbor.

 _"_ _Do it, do it,"_ Hook chanted loudly in his head. In that moment, Regina knew for certain what her victims felt when she crushed the life out of their beating hearts.

 _"_ _I wish it were me,"_ flashed through her mind like a bolt of lightening. Hook gasped at the first tentative swipe of Emma's lips against his reveling in remembrance of how soft her lips were. He molded his lips against her syncing his movement to complement hers. Sighing because nothing happened, he took a step away. Emma took the sigh as a sign of disappointment.

"Wait Regina," Emma said grabbing Hook's hand to prevent him from moving, "I was nervous. I can do better."

 _"_ _Nervous?"_ Regina guffawed at the notion that anything she did could make the stoic sheriff nervous.

"That's quite alright Ms. Mmphff," he began before being silenced by Emma's lips attacking his once again. Hook initially tried to protest but Emma gripped him by the hips pulling his body snugly against hers. Hook rational mind flew out the window like a bird trapped at the way Regina's body was responding. Touching Emma felt like touching an electrified fence, only in a good way. It wouldn't matter if he could think straight, Hook did want to stop so he deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue against Emma's lips. Emma immediately allowed Regina's soft, wet tongue into her mouth. Their tongues moved sinfully against each others in an exotic tango of passion. Regina felt like a voyeur watching the scene unfold before her.

 _"_ _Obviously the kiss didn't work so why is that barbaric pirate still sucking face with Emma. Stop!"_ She screamed internally, " _Wait are Emma's hands where I think they are?"_ She strained from the confines of the closet, her suspicions confirmed: Emma's hands were alternating between squeezing and kneading her supple ass. Regina's throat dried up like the desert, and she felt the stirrings of arousal.

 _"_ _Not now,_ " she pleaded crossing her legs tightly hoping to stop the blood flow of arousal to Hook's penis. However unpleasant the sensations were, she gained a new respect for why men found the sight of two women so appealing. It was a beautiful thing to behold. While Emma's hands acquainted themselves with Regina's ass and back, Hook made himself familiar with Emma's front sliding his hands underneath Emma's shirt ghosting the undersides of her breasts. Emma's nipples immediately perked at that attention.

"Mmm Regina," Emma moaned arching her back into Regina for more contact. Hearing Emma call Regina's name out loud was like the scratching of a needle on a record causing him to freeze. Emma noticed the abrupt shift in the atmosphere, and opened one eye to see what was wrong.

"Regina," she asked unable to keep the vulnerability of of her voice because she was afraid she might have totally crossed a line with the Mayor. Hook swiftly but reluctantly pulled his hands from Emma's soft breasts. He couldn't afford the time to stop and think about the fact that "Regina" had gotten farther with Emma than he had in all the time he been courting the Savior.

"Yes, Ms. Swan," he answered leveling his gaze to meet Emma's in a challenge.

"What was that?" she asked breathlessly. For the sake of his happy ending, he had to shut down Emma's now transparent attraction to Regina. He had the perfect weapon to use in his battle: the Evil Queen.

"That was me scratching an itch, nothing more," he answered with a dismissive wave turning his back. Regina quietly fumed from her position in the closet.

"An itch Regina. Really?" Emma countered turning the Mayor back around to face her, "I don't recall having an itch that would require your tongue jammed down my throat."

 _"_ _Get that greasy bastard,"_ Regina cheered automatically. She then had to stop and think exactly what it was she was rooting for. Regina wanted the situation to end but she didn't like how Hook was going about it. If he wasn't careful, he could totally eviscerate their friendship. The thought of again being on the receiving end of Emma's hatred and animosity brought the sting of tears to her eyes.

"What would you like me to say Sheriff Swan?" Hook asked placing his hands on his hips.

"We're friends," she reminded him, "Or I thought we were headed that way, so just tell me the truth. If you didn't feel anything, then just say so, but respect me enough not to feed me some 'I had an itch to scratch' bullshit." Emma's words once again had him floundering as to how to respond. He knew that no matter how much she complained about the Mayor, Regina's opinion and having her respect mattered a lot to Emma. He realized that it might make Emma fall for him easier if she had Regina's much sought after approval. Being in her body was his golden ticket!

"It wasn't 'bullshit' necessarily Emma," Hook began hesitantly, "I often have contemplated what it was like to kiss a woman. Since you are my friend, naturally my thoughts led me to you." Emma chewed her lip nervously thinking about what the Mayor just said.

"So you kissed a girl and you liked it?" she joked borrowing words from Katy Perry.

"Hope your boyfriend don't mind it," Hook played along relieved that the tension had eased up enough that they were able to joke around.

"Well Madame Mayor, you are full of surprises today," Emma chuckled, "I would never have taken you for a Katy Perry fan."

"If you tell anyone, I will destroy your happiness if it is the last thing I do," He said menacingly.

"Yeah, yeah," said the Savior.

"Seriously, Emma. Are we okay?" Hook as her somberly, "Can we still be friends?"

"Of course Regina," Emma assured the skittish woman confidently. However, she was not so assured that she could ever think of Regina in the same way after kissing her made her feel like she was soaring high in the sky on a crash course with the sun getting hotter and hotter the higher she flew. The actual Regina celebrated the victory with an uncharacteristic fist pump glad that Hook didn't do any irreparable damage.

"He's not my boyfriend," Emma said referring back to the comment about her boyfriend minding her kissing a woman

"Do you want him to be?" Hook asked eagerly.

"Have you been talking to Mary Margaret?" Emma asked slightly annoyed earning her a death glare from the Mayor.

"Ill tell you what I told her," she said as more irritation snuck into her tone, "I like Hook. I like spending time with him. He is good to me, and he is great with Henry. Plus, he is kinda handsome with his pirate bravado and swagger but it is TOO soon for me to say if I want more with him or not."

"But you are not opposed to it," Hook asked hopefully.

"Since when did you jump on board the good ship Hook?" Emma asked suspiciously, "You've never one good thing to say about him until today. What gives? Are you sick?" Hook playfully slapped her probing hand away from his forehead.

"Ms. Swan, keep your hands to yourself!" she admonished.

"You weren't saying that a minute ago when my hands were..." Emma said with a smirk

"Must you be so crude?" Hook criticized before changing the subject, "Where is Henry?"

"He is at my parent's apartment, why?" she asked.

"I am going to do some repainting and thought it best for him to stay with you during that time," she supplied, "He is a charming which puts him at a hereditary disadvantage in regards to brain cells, being around paint fumes could be detrimental to his future intelligence."

"Well whatever he lacks for due to a hereditary predisposition, you have made sure to make up for in spades so the kid will be alright, but yeah, I got him while you have your house redecorated," she told the Mayor.

"Thank you for your understanding."

"Sure no problem, just let me know when you want to see him, and I will make it happen," she commented making her way towards the door, "I'll see you around Regina."

"Bye dear," Hook called after her watching her make her way to her car. Once she was safe inside, Hook shut the door. Emma sat behind the wheel of her car thinking hard about what happened today. Something was definitely amiss with Regina. Emma's warning bells and whistles were going off like missiles in her head. She could bypass everything but the comment she made about Henry's intelligence. In all the years that she has known Regina, she has never made one derogatory comment about the boy. That alone was cause for concern. She decided to leave it for now. She didn't want to force the Mayor's to tell her what was going on. She would just redouble her efforts at being a friend to her, and hope that Regina would one day learn to trust her enough to share her world with her. Since the romantic side of a relationship with Regina was a bust, she would have to settle for friendship.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Once Hook and Regina leave the room, Regina scrambled out the closet stumbling over an umbrella on her way out. She didn't want Hook to know that she saw the entire incident. Even more so, she didn't want to discuss what she saw with him. Hook was territorial about Emma, and Regina wholeheartedly believed that if he knew she saw Emma kissing her the way she did, he'd instinctively do whatever necessary to protect his claim. In her mind, she pictured dogs urinating on everything in sight as a way to mark its territory. Plus, she had to process for herself what happened, and what it meant. If was like pieces of a puzzle fitting together to form a blurry picture. Everything was as clear as muddy water. Hook called out in search of Regina.

"In here," she called back directing him back towards the study. She met him with a tumbler of bourbon.

"I think our situation warrants a stiff drink, don't you my dear?" she asked not really expecting an answer.

"Thank you," Hook said downing the drink in one gulp which produced an ungodly belch from his mouth. Regina's mouth dropped in shock while her eyes shot poisonous daggers at the offensive man.

"Don't you ever..." she threatened through clenched teeth.

"What? Queens don't belch?" he asked coyly.

"NO, we certainly do not," she said indignantly.

"Alright, alright," he placated, "No more burping. Pray do tell what happened to my eye?"

"Newsflash Hook, there is one person in this world that is immune to your charms," she said wryly.

"Surely not," Hook scoffed in disbelief.

"I kissed Robin, and he gave me this," she said touching the blackened eye.

"I wish I'd known it didn't work before I kissed Emma!" Hook whined.

"That is what I was trying to tell you before you so rudely shoved me into hiding," she huffed.

"Well now we have absolute proof that it is not a curse since we both kissed our true love," he sighed running a hair though the Mayor's shoulder length locks in frustration, "What do we do now?" Regina absentmindedly swirled the contents of her drink in circles, the ice clinking against the glass while she thought.

"Maybe this is Freaky Friday," she said contemplating the movie in depth.'

"I'm sorry, what?" Hook said clearly lost. Regina didn't realize that she said that out loud.

"Freaky Friday is a movie," she explained, "A mother and her daughter switch places after eating an enchanted fortune cookie."

"What the bloody hell is a fortune cookie?" he wondered shaking his head.

"Could you focus please?" Regina's responded her irritation rising.

"I'm trying Regina, but I honestly have no idea what you are talking about," Hook responded defensively. Pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration, Regina remind herself that Hook was not part of the curse which meant he had not spent a lot of time in this new world. Taking a deep, calming breath, she patiently explained the premise behind the movie Freaky Friday.

"So what you are saying is that there is some sort of lesson we each need to learn in order to return to our rightful selves," he clarified, "And the only way to learn said lesson is by walking a mile in each others shoes."

"I don't know Killian," Regina answered throwing her hands up in exasperation, "Unless you have a better idea, I say we commit to this one."

"Why couldn't I switch places with someone who wears more sensible footwear," he whined.

"Nonsense dear, have you seen what those heels do for my calves and my derriere?" she quipped lightly.

"Indeed," Hook chuckled unable to deny how Regina looked in heels. He should know, he'd checked out her ass plenty of times.

"So are we agreed then?"

"Yes," he responded, "We go balls to the wall completely to living as one another in the hopes that we will gain some life altering insight that will change us back."

"If balls to the wall means being a hundred percent dedicated to this course of action, then yes," she said not quite understanding his terms.

"This should be interesting," he commented

"You think being responsible for the town and everyone in it is interesting?" she said with disdain

"Aye, I do," he said with mirth. A mischievous look flitted across his face. Regina missing nothing commented, "What's that look for?"

"Before I agree to tell you, do you promise that what I am about to say will change nothing in how you proceed?" Hook started hesitantly.

"Yes, of course," she answered truthfully.

"Shall we shake on it then," he asked extending his hand which Regina took giving it a firm shake before releasing.

"Now I demand to know why you look like that cat that just swallowed a canary," she said firmly.

"I, rather, you have a date with Ms. Swan this Wednesday," Hook informed the Mayor causing her eyes to bug out of their sockets.

"Hook, that is only two days away," she stammered.

"I know Regina. Do you think I am keen on the idea," Hook asked, "You could very well muck all the hard work I've put into wooing the skittish swan."

"She's not some spooked horse you idiot!" Regina admonished.

"Aye, but I'd like to ride her all the same," he replied with a knowing wink.

"If you weren't in my body, I would so smack that filth right out of your mouth," she threatened, "It is no wonder Emma is afraid to make her relationship with you more serious when you are just treating her like a lady of the night!"

"Did she say something to you?" Hook asked alarmed.

"Yes," Regina affirmed, "She expressed concerns that you were only interested in one thing." The first feeling that hit Hook was offense but it turned to anger at himself for being so transparent.

"But that is not all I want from her," he contested, "I really do like her."

 _"_ _What's no to like,"_ Regina smiled inwardly.

"Clearly there is something about a hirsute, unwashed pirate that Ms. Swan likes or she wouldn't be giving you the time of day," the former queen said airily, "However, you've been going about your pursuit of her all wrong."

"Then I guess it is a good thing you are going out with her then," he returned.

"I beg your pardon," she stuttered in response, "How on Earth is that a good thing?"

"Because you are clearly not interested in a sexual relationship with Emma," he replied as if stating the obvious.

"No doubt about that," she replied sardonically.

"Tell me what I need to know about being a mayor," Hook said effectively changing the subject.

"Let's go to my office so I can go over my schedule," she suggested moving towards her home office. Hook padded behind her in his stocking feet. Pulling up a chair, he sat next to her while she reviewed her schedule for the week on her computer. Regina briefed Hook on upcoming meetings, and her stance on various proposals. Regina was impressed with Hook's attentiveness, and his quickness to ask questions if he didn't fully comprehend something. She kept at her tutelage until she was satisfied that he had a decent knowledge of how to proceed as Mayor of Storybrook.

"I never realized how much work went into being the Mayor of this town," Hook said with a yawn, "You do a fantastic job at it Regina." Regina bowed her head at the unexpected comment feeling her heart swell with gratitude that someone could understand how serious she took her job.

"Thank you, Killian," she said softly, "It means a lot to me."

"Don't mention it," he said nonchalantly slightly uncomfortable with the display of softness coming from the former Evil Queen.

"You seem to have a good grasp of what you need to do but now I've got to make sure you dress the part," she said rising from the desk. Killian trailed behind her to the Mayor's bedroom. Regina marched directly into her closet while Hook sat on the edge of the bed. Regina meticulously selected an coordinating outfit for each day of the work week including undergarments. Watching Regina peruse through her lingerie drawer, Hook was struck with a thought.

"Regina, I've been thinking," he began.

"Don't hurt yourself dear," she replied.

"I'm serious," he pouted,

"Don't do that to my face, you'll cause wrinkles," she chastised, "Go on then what's got your thoughts ablaze?"

"Emma is the common denominator in our equation so do you think the lesson we must learn has something to do with her?" The thought gave Regina a good pause. He was right, the only thing they both had in common was the Sheriff. If he was correct, they at least had an idea of where to start instead of wandering aimlessly through the dark of each others lives without a flashlight.

"You make a good point Captain," she said chewing her lip in contemplation, "She is the Savior after all."

"So we should start with her," he suggested.

"Agreed," Regina conceded, "Now come let me show you what you are to wear to work this week." Hook followed her into the closet listening closely to Regina's instructions. For good measure, Regina also gave him a lesson on how to apply her make up properly. Once Regina believed all of her bases were covered, she decided that it was time for her to leave.

"Oh," she said pausing on the stairs, "Since my home is to be painted, you will need to contact someone suitable for the job."

"About that," he began warily, "I hope that you're not angry."

"Not at all," Regina reassured, "It was a good call to keep Henry as far away from this as possible. If he sensed something amiss, well let's just say no one knows more than I how Henry gets when he is tossed a bone."

"Wonder where he gets that from," Hook teased.

"Why from me, of course," she answered with pride, "The Charmings couldn't make their way of a plastic bag without assistance, but that is neither her nor there. Before I leave, I need to give you something." Regina made her way to the bag containing the burner phone handing it to Hook.

"If you already had a cellphone then," she started but was interrupted.

"Then the whole debacle with Ms. Swan could've been avoided," he finished for her.

"Precisely. Now I've taken the liberty of adding a few numbers I think you will be needing," she said showing him how to access his contact list.

"Thank you, I think I can manage," he said opening the door for her to make her exit.

"Call me if you need anything," she encouraged before stepping out into the crisp night air. Hook eyes followed her down the side walk.

"Good luck dear," she called over her shoulder, "You're going to need it!" Hook gulped audibly before shutting the door on the woman, and shutting the door on the day he would always remember from this day forward as the day from hell. Suddenly exhausted, Hook prepared himself for bed. He climbed into the Mayor's bed noting how soft and comfortable the bed was. Not used to such luxury, Hook's body immediately relaxed and he fell into a night of sleep. His counterpart was not so lucky. It wasn't that her accommodations weren't ideal. She had gotten used to the bedding on the Jolly Roger during their trip to Neverland. It was her thoughts that plagued her preventing her from resting. Images of Emma kissing Hook in her body kept running through her head causing her to replay every interaction between her and Emma up to this day looking for some hidden signs or clues that she missed indicating an attraction on Emma's part. She couldn't find any, but she herself, gave nothing away and she knew she harbored an attraction to Emma from the start. Coming to the conclusion that like herself, the blonde Sheriff would keep her cards to herself to prevent them from showing didn't help Regina get any closer to figuring out exactly what to do with that information. Sighing because she knew she needed sleep in order to face the days ahead, Regina decided to lull her mind into sleep by counting sheep. The waves from the ocean assisted rocking her gently into the land of dreams.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Regina stirred from her slumber thinking she had the most peculiar dream ever. Slowly opening her eyes, Regina felt as if she'd been sucker punched. Stuffing a pillow over her mouth, she screamed and screamed until her throat ached from exertion. The realization that her nightmare was indeed her reality came crashing over her in waves, and she was drowning! She needed a long hot shower and coffee. Preferably, in that order. It suddenly occurred to her that she didn't know how Hook took a shower since the Jolly Roger didn't have indoor plumbing.

" _This will never do,"_ she told herself. When she got to Granny's she would see about renting a room. She tidied herself up as much as possible before heading to Granny's for the much sought after caffeine. Regina took a seat at the counter placing her order with Ruby. Ruby informed her that it would be no problem for her to rent a room.

"Thank you Ms. Lucus," Regina said formally before correcting herself, "Er Ruby I mean."

"You okay there mate?" Ruby asked.

"Absolutely, why do you ask?" she replied feigning dumb.

"No reason...except you order the same thing everyday, the lumber jack special, and today you order that," she said pointing to Regina's breakfast.

"Do you have a point?" she snapped.

"No but you do," Ruby smirked grabbing a hold of the hook.

"Playing with a pirate is all fun and games until someone loses an eye," Regina cautioned.

"Or a hand, or a leg," Ruby added playfully.

"Can't a man change his mind?" she asked referring back to her food.

"Of course silly," she replied, "It is just weird though." The hair on Regina's neck prickled.

"Weird, how so?" she asked

"That is the exact same thing the Mayor orders," she replied nonchalantly.

"Well if her eating habits help keep her in such amazing shape, then I'll have to take a page out of her book more often," Regina supplied with a smile.

"Righhttt," Ruby commented practically drooling, "She's got an ass you can bounce a quarter off of!" Regina choked on her coffee hearing that. Ruby handed the discombobulated pirate a towel to clean up his mess.

"Just swallowed wrong," Regina said hoarsely, "Think she'd let us try that later?"

"Her? Nah, she's about as uptight as you can get," Ruby said.

"Are you talking about Regina again, Ruby?" Emma asked sidling up to the counter next to Hook.

"Oh hey Emma," Ruby greeted, "Yeah we were, how did you know?"

"Well I heard the word uptight, and put two and two together, ya know?" she told the waitress. Emma directed her next comment to Hook.

"Is this seat taken," she asked coyly.

"You can see it is not," Regina said pointedly. Emma's comment hurt. It upset her to know that Emma thought she was uptight.

"Jeez man who pissed in your cornflakes," she asked crassly.

"I'm not having cornflakes," she stated, "And certainly not if someone urinated upon them!"

"OMG Regina, lighten up!" Emma teased causing the actual Regina to choke on her coffee once more. Emma slapped her back as a means of assistance.

"What did you call me?" she gasped.

"I was kidding Killian," she explained, "But seriously, what has got you so uptight this morning?"

"I don't know what you are referring to," she grumbled in annoyance.

"Okay, okay," she said holding her hands up in mock surrender. Ruby interrupted Emma before she could tease the man further.

"Thanks Ruby Tuesday," she said taking the food from the waitress. Emma stood by Hook looking at him expectantly. Regina didn't know what she was waiting for so she continued grazing at her plate of food.

"Well," Emma said expectantly.

"Well what?" Regina asked in a clipped tone.

"Are you walking me to work or not?" she asked as if Hook should clearly know what she was talking about.

"Yes," came out of Regina's mouth sounding more like a question than a response.

"Seriously Hook. You've only been walking me to work every Tuesday, and Friday for like the last three weeks," Emma commented, "Something about it being your duty to safely escort the princess to her place of work." Regina pushed off her stool stiffly.

"Of course princess," she mocked offering an arm chivalrously, "Shall we go?" Emma grabbed his arm clearly appeased.

"Yes I think we shall." Emma made light conversation with the pirate while they walked. Regina seethed internally at Hook's negligence to mention his daily habits. She hated looking like a fool even though she was in the body of one of the biggest fools in Storybrook. She'd rectify the situation immediately since she was headed towards town hall with Emma anyway. Regina escorted Emma to the door of the station. Regina figured that most gentleman would open the door for a lady so she pulled the door open for Emma. Emma turned in the doorway leaning in for their usual good-bye kiss. Regina, noting her intentions, panicked turning her head at the last minute. The kiss landed soundly on her cheek. Emma raised her eyebrows in question.

"Uh, uh you take care now," Regina sputtered stumbling over her feet in her haste to get away from the Sheriff. The scene from Dirty Dancing came into her head.

 _"_ _How idiotic was that,"_ she said shaking her head at the thoughts, _"I might as well have said 'I carried a watermelon."_ She didn't dare chance a glance to see Emma's reaction. Instead, she walked with purpose towards the Mayor's office. She greeted her assistant politely asking to see the Mayor.

"Is she expecting you?" her assistant asked perusing the Mayor's schedule for the day.

"No but I spoke with her earlier, and she assured me that she would find time to fit me in," Regina said quickly.

"Have a seat and I will let her know you are here," her secretary informed her. While the secretary phone the Mayor, Regina opted to pace the hallway, her footsteps echoing loudly throughout the halls.

"The Mayor will see you now," she heard the woman call to her. Before Regina could knock, the door swung open. Hook grabbed her by the arm pulling her inside before quickly closing the door.

"What the hell Hook?" Regina complained rubbing her elbow.

"Get in here before anyone else sees you," he hissed.

"Okay, okay take it easy. I'm rather attached to this arm you know!" she said testily. Regina eyeballed the man in front of her making sure he did right by her. Hook noticing her scrutiny, did a little twirl.

"Do I pass muster your majesty?" he asked.

"It'll do," she said with a cluck of her tongue.

"Not that I'm not glad to see you, but what brings you here? This isn't someplace I would ever likely be," he asked.

"You never told me you walk Emma to work on Tuesday's and Friday's!" she accused.

"Damn. I am really sorry Regina," he said sheepishly, "With everything that has been going on, it simply slipped my mind."

"That's alright dear, we've both been under a lot of stress," she said sympathetically.

"What, that is it?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yes that is it. What did you expect? I can't very well incinerate you with a fire ball now can I?" she replied defensively.

"Thanks," he said to her.

"What else do I need to know in order to successfully impersonate you? What exactly is it that you do all day?" Regina questioned seriously.

"Ahh love, well I am a man of leisure, so I do whatever I please," he said arrogantly.

"Man of leisure," she mocked his tone," Sounds more like a bum if you ask me."

"Well I didn't," he replied curtly.

"Fine," she huffed frustrated, "As long as I am pretending to be you, do whatever I want?"

"Essentially yes but without raising alarm," Hook told her.

"What about Emma?" Regina asked dead serious.

"What about Swan?" Hook replied without a clue.

"I have no idea how to proceed with her as you," she elaborated.

"Sorry love, I don't quite follow," Hook said confused.

"Are you guys..you know?" she asked averting her eyes from his questioning gaze.

"Are we...OH!" he exclaimed finally catching on, "No we are not doing that."

"Really?" she asked clearly surprised, "You've been dating for awhile now and you haven't been...intimate?"

"Not that it is any of your business..." he began tentatively.

"Oh but it is now," she interrupted.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, "We have not been intimate."

"Ms. Swan immune to your pirate charm?" she teased.

"Actually no, Ms. Swan is quite willing, and rather persistent about taking it to that level," he informed the Mayor. Regina did a double take not believing her ears.

"Then why?" she asked

"I care very much for Ms. Swan," he said softly, "I may even be in love with her. While she makes it clear as day there is a physical connection, I think I want to hold out until there is an emotional connection as well." Regina's heart melted a little at his sincerity.

"You want her to love you before becoming intimate," she whispered in awe.

"Yes it is stupid, I know," Hook mumbled.

"No it is not," she admonished, "It is actually very romantic, and very sweet."

"What can I say, she brings out the best in me," he shrugged.

"Bringing out the best in others is one of the things Ms. Swan does best," she agreed, "Well I for one am so glad that sex with Ms. Swan is off the table!"

"Agreed. But so you know, she gets a little frisky from time to time, and it is hard for me to deny her on my best days," Hook admitted honestly.

"Well I think it is in my best interest to know exactly what is on the table? What type of intimacy will she expect from me on a date?" Regina asked completely serious.

"Oh well there's been kissing," Hook began

"With tongue or without tongue?" Regina interrupted needing clarification.

"Both and lots of it," he said, "I believe the kids of this world have dubbed it 'Making out."

"Yes I am familiar with making out," she commented

"Madame Mayor, I'm shocked,"

"Why? I'm no nun and being stuck in the curse got pretty old after awhile. I had to find someway to amuse myself," she said trying to not to rise to Hook's bait.

"Who was the lucky bastard, come on you can tell me?" Hook tried egging the Mayor on.

"Do you have a death wish?" she glared, "Focus on what else I need to know please."

"You're no fun," he complained before being serious again, "Well there has been some heavy petting."

"Above clothes or underneath clothes?" Regina wondered.

"Both," Hook affirmed.

"Below the belt or...?" she asked.

"No, no nothing below the waste," he replied quickly.

"So second base," Regina muttered to herself using a baseball reference.

"I beg your pardon?" Hook questioned.

"Never mind," she said dismissively, "So nothing below the waist but everything else is fair game. Anything else? Never spent the night?"

"No she has never asked me to stay the night with her," he replied, "I think she's afraid she won't be able to resist my manly charms if she had me in bed beside her all night long."

"I'm sure that is why," she said rolling her eyes, "What are your plans for the date tomorrow?"

"I have not really given it much thought. I prefer spontaneity over a plan. Planning takes all the romance of it, I think," he commented aloofly.

"Charming," she said with a shake of her head while thinking, _"Men really have no clue, especially this one."_ The way she saw it, Hook needed any help that he could get. She knew from conversations with Emma, that their dates mostly consisted of going out to dinner then usually ending up at the Rabbit Hole for drinks. She also knew that was not a good long term plan if Hook wanted to keep Emma's attention.

"Are you okay with all of this?" Hook asked interrupting her thoughts.

"Honestly, no I am not comfortable with the thought of carrying on a physical relationship with Emma albeit in your stead but really what choice do I have? You will just have to trust me. I don't want to do anything to mess anything up for you or for her," Regina stated.

"And you will have to trust me to do the same," he replied back to her in a slightly challenging tone.

"I am trying Killian, honestly I am," she said seriously, "It is just that I don't feel good at all about keeping this from her."

"You think we should tell her?" he asked contemplating whether or not she was serious.

"Well we wouldn't have to keep up this charade if we were truthful to Ms. Swan," she pointed out reasonably.

"Do you think it wise?" Hook wondered aloud.

"Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I think it could be in our best interest to tell her," Regina told the man.

"Explain," he commanded in his most captain tone of voice.

"Because of me, and because I enacted the curse, Emma didn't grow up under the best circumstances. She has a hard enough time trusting given the best intentions. If Emma were to find out on her own, she'd feel really hurt and betrayed like we were trying to manipulate here," she started, "Do you even want to consider the damage that it could do to her if we do keep this from her?" Hook ran his hand across his chin thinking. Regina watched that play out in his facial expressions. She hoped that he would agree because she could barely stomach the thought of doing anything else to hurt Emma. She'd done enough harm to the woman for an eternity. If she could spare Emma any pain, that would be a role she would gladly take on. She only wanted good things for her friend.

"Yes she seems to have trust issues," Hook said finally.

"And we can not forget that her role in this town is the Savior. She is our common link so it seems highly plausible that she can offer some assistance."

"She is really smart, and really resourceful," Hook commented beginning to buy into Regina's theory, "I don't see where telling her could make things worse."  
"I'll text her to meet me at Granny's at 6pm and we will go from there," Regina stated with authority.

"You think she will come?" Hook pondered.

"Yes especially if I tell her that I am or rather you will be buying," she said with a laugh knowing Emma's stomach well enough to know she would never turn down free food.

"Right while that is settled," Hook stated, "Do you think you could help me finish these permits and teach me how to reconcile the budgets."

"You are taking this seriously," Regina said appreciatively.

"Go big or go home," he said shrugging off the compliment.

"By the way, I will be taking a room at Granny's. I simply refuse to go one day further without indoor plumbing," she haughtily informed the pirate.

"Of course, your majesty, but how will we keep up appearances and explain that?" he asked bringing up a very valid point. Everyone in town knew that Hook spent as much time on the Jolly Roger as possible. Even preferring it to the company of most people.

"Well you need a permit to dock a boat in the harbor for more than a month, and until you have one, no one is allowed to set foot on the deck of the Jolly Roger," she informed him.

"You do?" he asked in wonder.

"You do now dear, it is called a cover story," she said conspiratorially.

"Right and I supposed said permit will be mysteriously lost or buried under a mound of paper work until whatever this is between us is resolved," Hook said joining in.

"Not just another handsome face are you Captain," Regina joked.

"I always knew you thought I was handsome!" Hook flirted with a wink.

"Ugh Hook, I don't wink you idiot," she scolded playfully which earned her another more dramatic wink. Scoffing at his antics, Regina got him to settle down enough to help him with the days work. Once the Captain was steered on the right course, Regina was comfortable enough to take her leave. She left the man with a wave promising to meet him at the diner later.

Since Regina was a man of leisure now, she decided that a shopping trip was in order. She went to the local department store. After trying on clothes for size, she made a few purchases. With that out of the way, she went to the drug store to purchase some much needed hygiene products. Taking her purchases back to the Inn, Regina made use of the shower. She stayed under the steamy spray until the water turned cold. Feeling somewhat human again, Regina sat down on her bed. She really needed to figure out what do do with Emma for the date tomorrow. Her mind replayed a conversation she had with Emma sometime ago. Feeling inspired, she made a few phone calls to set her plans in motion. Due to the nature of her date, a hook for a hand would not suffice, so she made a mental note to get Hook's wooden hand from the Jolly Roger after dinner. Spotting the department store bags, Regina sorted through her purchases, storing them away in the closet and drawers. Just because she was in Hook's body, didn't mean she couldn't enjoy the finer things life had to offer. If anything, Regina felt like she was doing Hook a solid by upgrading his wardrobe. From her purchases, she selected a pair of faded designer jeans that hung nicely off Hook's lean frame. She paired that with a light blue button down shirt that she left untucked for a more casual yet refined style. She added a pair of black ankle high boots. Satisfied with her reflection in the mirror, she went to the bathroom to work on taming Hook's mane. It took more than one try, but she managed to make his hair look presentable.

" _He's lucky I haven't taken a razor to this stubble he calls a beard,"_ she thought glaring at her reflection. With nothing left to do, Regina decided to go to the diner. She sat in a booth towards the back, and wasted. Ruby came to check on her. She ended ordering food for the three of them but asked for Ruby to deliver it when her companions arrived. Regina fidgeted in her seat like an anxious two year old while she waited. Regina spied a mane of wild blond curls belonging to none other than Emma Swan pass by the window. Her throat felt as dry as the Sahara, her heart galloped in her chest, and she suddenly felt hot at the sight. Emma smiled the brightest smile when she saw the pirate sitting in the back. Regina stood to greet her friend. Emma leaned in for a chaste kiss, and Regina met her half way allowing it. While the kiss was fleeting, the effects were profound. Regina raised a hand to her lips marveling at how soft Emma's lips felt when pressed against hers, and how her lips seemed to tingle because of the kiss.

 _"_ _Curious,"_ Regina marveled at the reaction. She stood aside allowing Emma to take the inner seat of the booth.

"I wonder what Regina wants from the both of us," Emma said drumming her fingers on the table nervously. Regina took Emma's hand in hers lacing their fingers together as a gesture of comfort.

"I'm sure it is nothing," Regina replied lightly stroking the back of Emma's hand with her thumb. Emma smiled softly at the pirate.

"That's nice," she commented.

"What is?" Regina wondered.

"I like it when you hold my hand," she said shyly. Regina gave the hand a squeeze before replaying, "Well then I'll have to hold it more often then." The comment earned another heart felt smile from Emma. She found herself smiling right back.

"Besides I like holding your hand to," she blurted out loud without thinking. She tensed at the admission waiting to see Emma's reaction. Thankfully, Emma didn't think too much into it. But Regina couldn't stop trying to analyze her actions. She'd never been this open and affectionate with Emma before. She realized that being in Hook's body afforded her a comfort level she would never indulge in as herself. The thought made her sad for some reason.

"Regina's here," Emma stated. Regina quickly dropped Emma's hand feeling guilty all of a sudden. She covered it by by waving the Mayor over to the table. Hook acknowledged the wave with a nod of his head greeting Granny and others as he made his way to the back. Not shortly after he arrived, Ruby brought their food to the table.

"You ordered this?" Emma questioned in surprise.

"Yes," Regina affirmed.

"Hmm," Emma murmured taking a bite of her steak.

"Is it not to your satisfaction Swan?"

"No," she denied, "In fact it is perfect. I just never realized you paid any attention to what I like to eat or how I like it cooked."

"I pay attention to everything you do," she replied simply as if it were no big deal. Hook was too absorbed in his meal since he skipped lunch to notice the exchange. Regina's stomach was too much of a mess to eat so she just pushed her food from one side of the plate to the other with her fork.

"Not hungry," Emma observed.

"No, not really," she sighed dropping her fork. Emma turned her attention to the Mayor.

"Not that I mind free food, but why are we we all here Regina?" she asked before taking a sip of her sweet tea. Hook looked like a dear caught in headlights.

"Do you want to tell her or should I?" he asked looking apprehensively at Regina.

"Why don't you go ahead," Regina prodded.

"She'd take it better coming from you," Hook countered.

"She is right here you know," Emma interrupted the back and forth exchange, "Seriously guys, you two are freaking me out." Neither Hook nor Regina commented because both were at a loss. Emma filled in the lapse in conversation with inane comments.

"It's not like you guys are having sex with each other," she snorted expecting to get a reply but when she didn't, she began to panic.

"Omigod, you two are sleeping together," she shrieked. The pain and panic in her voice snapped Regina back into the present.

"Of course we are not having sexual relations with each other," she snapped, "I'd never sully my reputation by dating the likes of that!"

"As if you'd stand a chance," Hook sneered.

"Guys!" Emma shouted, "This is not helping!"

"Fine," Regina snapped irritably, "I'll tell you." Taking a deep breath, she turned her head to meet Emma's expectant gaze.

"The green proton spilled the eagle's milk into the microwave of doom so now the trident of Asgard has split into the sea of dippity do," she began tentatively looking at Hook for encouragement before continuing, "The saucy mouse took the lipstick to the mean fly so that the hornet wouldn't get it. It just wasn't the right shade for the hornet." Regina finished with a flourish finally glad that the truth was on the table and she was no longer deceiving her friend. Emma stared at her with a bizarre expression on her face.

"Huh?" she asked dumbly.

"Clearly, she didn't understand me, so you tell her," Regina urged Hook impatiently.

"Right, so Emma it's like this," Hook started, "If the pencil walked into the supermarket, the entire universe of ants would turn into dandelions only to be swept into the breeze of an elephants trunk,"

"Yes that sums it up quite nicely," Regina complimented Hook.

"Thank you," he answered graciously.

"You're welcome," she replied back equally gracious. Unbeknownst to the two of them, what sounded completely rational and sane to them, sounded like complete and utter gibberish to Emma. None of what either of them said any sense whatsoever.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Emma asked looking around the diner, "Is there a hidden camera crew waiting to jump out at me and scream 'You're on candid camera!"

"No Ms. Swan, I can assure you, this most certainly is not a laughing matter for either one of us," Regina said indignantly.

"We would never joke about something like this Emma," Hook agreed with Regina's statement. Emma eyeballed the pair suspiciously.

"Okay," she started warily, "You two have been acting bizarre all day and nothing either of you just said made any sense at all."

"Can you not understand the Queen's English love?" Hook asked sympathetically. Regina kicked him in his shin under the table.  
"Ow," he complained rubbing his leg.

"If you were speaking the Queen's English, I would've understood it Regina," Emma deadpanned, "But what you just said DID. NOT. MAKE. SENSE."

"Did it make sense to you Madam Mayor?" Regina asked Hook.

"Complete, you?" he shot back.

"Ruby!" Emma hollered for the waitress. Ruby hastily made her way to their table.

"What is it Emma?" she wondered in alarm, "Is everything alright?"

"Tell her," she commanded to Hook and Regina. Hook and Regina stared at each other uncertain how to proceed.

"Tell her!" Emma demanded more forcefully this time. She was bordering on outrage. Ruby simply looked between Regina and Hook waiting patiently with a hand on her hip for one of them to speak up.

"Well Ms. Lucas, it's like this," Hook said hesitantly, "Whores and children should learn that muskrats holding rifles needed to be massaged and pampered or run the risk of becoming neo-fascists."

Ruby's nostrils flared in anger. Directing her ire at the comment towards the Sheriff, "Did she just call me a whore?" Emma just raised her hands up in confusion.

"You know what," Ruby said in a clipped tone, "I don't have time for this. If you are going to insult me Madam Mayor at least take that stick that is shoved so far up your ass that it comes out of your throat out long enough to make the words coming out of your mouth make sense!"

"But I, I, I," Hook stammered. Regina reached out placing a hand on his arm to refrain him from going after the flustered wolf.

"They can't understand us," she said low enough for only him to hear. Sighing loudly, Hook plopped back down into the booth. Regina started to laugh out loud. She looked Hook in the eye hoping that he'd take the hint to start laughing too. He did, but didn't know why. After a few round of chuckles, Regina stopped clearing her throat.

"Sorry love, we just couldn't resist," she said giving Emma her most charming smile, "We were taking the piss out of ya."

"You guys were pranking me right?" she clarified slapping her hand down on the table.

"Yes that is it. We were pranking you," Hook confirmed.

"Okay, okay good one," Emma said quite relieved, "So is there an actual reason why the three of us are having dinner together then?"

 _"_ _Damn it,"_ Regina cursed inwardly.

"Um well I know how important Regina's friendship is to you so I suggested to her that for your sake, we make more of an effort to get along with each other," Regina replied thinking quickly on her feet.

"Of course, I couldn't agree more," Hook replied not wanting Regina to get the upper hand of the situation and come out looking like hero.

"Wow, guys that's really...great," Emma said appreciatively, "That means a lot to me."

"We both care about you Ms. Swan er Emma," Regina told her friendship .

"Some more than others," Hook commented quickly earning himself a death glare.

"Well, I appreciate it, really I do. It will make my life so much easier if the two of you get along."

"Don't worry, Emma, from now on we will," Regina said assuredly. She didn't realize how much stress she unwittingly placed on Emma with her cynical, snarky attitude towards the pirate. So, she vowed that even when she was back in her own skin, she would be on her best behavior as far as Captain Hook was concerned. Emma deserved that from her, if not more.

"Just so you know, it is really great that you guys are making an effort for my sake to get along but teaming up together to play a joke on me...FREAKY!" Emma said in a sing song voice.

"Duly noted,"Regina replied wryly.

"Won't happen again," Hook said sheepishly.

Regina and Emma left the diner leaving Hook by himself to settle the bill since dinner was supposed to be on the Mayor's dime.

"I heard you were staying at the inn," Emma commented in passing.

"Yes, apparently I need a permit to dock my boat in Storybrook harbor," she answered.

"Well if you are staying at the Inn, where are you headed?" Emma wondered.

"Oh, I need to get some things off the Jolly Roger," Regina returned.

"Mind if I tag along. I'm not really ready to head home," Emma inquired chancing a small glance in Hook's direction.

"Actually, I'd like that," she said giving Emma a genuine smile while noting the blush that spread across Emma's pale face. The sun was setting on the day. Regina tugged Emma over to the railing so they could watch together. The setting sun painted a canvas of pastels over the horizon. Both women watched in a comfortable silence. Regina snuck covert glances at Emma noting how relaxed and open the Sheriff seemed as she watched the scene with a sense of awe.

"I never get used it it," she sighed softly at the beauty.

"What dear?" Regina questioned.

"The beauty of it," she said peacefully.

"Nor should you, but that is only part of it," Regina told the Savior.

"What do you mean?" Emma asked turning to look at the pirate.

"The sunset is beautiful, yes but the moon rising is very underrated, look," Regina motioned to the sky where the very tip of the round moon peeked over the horizon like a shy suitor stealing glances at his beloved. Emma turned toward the sky once more intently watching the moon rise out of the darkness of the water casting its sliver glow over the world it touched. Regina watched the emotions play out over the Sheriff's face.

"Wow, I never noticed," she whispered in amazement. Emma caught the pirate looking at her intently.

"Neither did I," Regina replied meeting Emma's intense stare with one of her own. Emma smiled softly catching the unintentional compliment. She shuffled her feet awkwardly back and forth when the intensity became almost too much to bear.

"Killian," she said uncertainly taking a step towards the pirate. Regina read Emma's intentions loud and clear. She wanted to kiss Hook. This time, there was no internal debate. Regina was going to allow herself to experience it without hesitation. She took a step forward meeting Emma half way. She wrapped one hand around Emma's waist pulling her in the rest of the way. She used her other hand to cup Emma's jaw in her hand. She ran her thumb over Emma's bottom lip which Emma pressed a soft kiss against the tip. Regina searched Emma's eyes for any conflict, seeing none, she brought her head down slowly to increase anticipation. She paused a millimeter before her destination in a move meant to be teasing. Emma's breath hitched in her throat causing Regina's restraint to crumble like an old wall. She pressed her lips against Emma's lightly trying to acquaint herself with the lips of the Savior. She was surprised a the jolt of electricity stemming from her lips coursing through her entire body. She briefly pondered if she was the one responding or if it was Hook's body that was reacting. Rational thought be damned when she felt Emma's tongue sneak its way unannounced between her lips. Regina's grip on her waist tightened pressing their bodies tighter from shoulder to knees. Regina parted her lips to meet Emma's inquisitive tongue. She synced her mouth and tongue in tune with the rhythm Emma dictated. Emma hummed her approval when she felt Hook's tongue meld with hers. Regina could only remain submissive for so long. Growling softly, she back Emma against the railing while she took charge of the kiss. She nipped and sucked Emma's bottom lip before returning to her mouth to tease and explore further. She alternated the pace between soft, feather like nips, to rough bruising kisses. She peppered kisses along Emma's jaw to her neck nipping at the soft skin she encountered. She continued until breathing became a necessity. She nuzzled her nose into the crook of Emma's neck inhaling in deeply the clean, fresh scent of the Savior. Regina held Emma tightly against her until her heart stopped its thunderous applause in her chest, until her breathing returned to normal. She pulled way because she desperately wanted to memorize the reaction on the Savior's face. Emma's eyes were shut tight. Her chest and face were flushed pink. Regina noted that Emma's nipples strained against the fabric of her shirt, and her breath came in short gasps as well. She looked thoroughly kissed, and this pleased Regina immensely. Emma could feel herself being scrutinized so she opened her eyes one at a time to find Hook looking at her as if nothing else mattered in the world except this exact moment in time.

"What the hell was that?" she rasped.

"Was it not to your liking?" Regina asked feeling self-doubt creeping in like a thief in the night.

"What no, of course it was to my liking Killian," she assured, "You've just never kissed me like that before."

"Like what Emma?" she asked seriously.

"Like, like, like," Emma struggled for words, "Like I was as vital to you as the air you breathe. I don't know it was different." Regina extricated herself from Emma's embrace. Knowing it was cowardice on her part, and only false bravado because she could get away with it being trapped in Hook's body, Regina tilted Emma's chin up to look her in the eyes.

"Oh Emma," she whispered tenderly, "If you don't know how much you mean to me by now, I've clearly been doing something wrong." Emma's eyes glistened with tears hearing Hook's emotional outpouring, She was at a loss for words so she just acknowledged the heart felt sentiments with a goofy grin, and a slight nod. Regina sensed a slight discomfort on Emma's part. She guessed Hook wasn't the type for conversations based on intimacy and emotions. So, she decided to spare the Swan, and changed the subject.

"Shall we get to the Jolly Roger then Swan," she asked extending her arm to escort Emma the rest of the way to the docks. Emma took the arm while the pair walked the short distance to where the boat was moored. Regina collected what she needed stuffing the items into a ruck sack while Emma waited top side. Regina joined Emma on the deck then they headed back. Regina reminded Emma about their date.

"The usual," Emma inquired referring to their normal date night routines.

"Change of plans, Emma," Regina replied mysteriously.

"Really?" Emma asked bumping shoulders playfully with the pirate.

"Yes, really," she bumped back, "Can you be ready at 4pm by any chance?"

"Sure David owes me," she answered unable to contain the excitement in her voice, "Where are you taking me?" Regina stopped in front of Emma's yellow monstrosity that was parked in front of Granny's while Emma unlocked the door.

"It's a surprise Emma," she told the inquisitive woman, "Just wait and see."

"I hate waiting," Emma replied making a pouty face.

"You're such a child," Regina said with a grin.

"That's what Regina says all the time too," she grumbled.

"Well Regina is usually right," Regina replied knowingly

"Hmph," Emma grunted in protest, "Can you at least tell me what to wear?"

"Nope but nice try," Regina said playfully. She made sure Emma was in the car before shutting the door gently.

"Well then I'll just wear a paper sack," she replied petulantly.

"And you will still be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," Regina said in a sing songy voice all the while knowing she had taken the liberty of picking out an outfit for Emma to wear on their date tomorrow. She would have it delivered to the station around lunch time tomorrow. She only wished she could see Emma's face when she opened up her gifts.

"See you tomorrow," Regina said leaning down to give Emma a peck on the cheek in parting.

"Night Killian," Emma called out as she pulled away from the curb.

"Drive safely Ms. Swan!" Emma hard over the engine. She stuck her hand out the window in reassurance.

It had been a strange day for Emma beginning with Hook's behavior at the diner this morning to Regina and Hook tag teaming her at dinner, to Hook's sudden attentiveness, to the emotional kiss on the docks. Emma's spider sense was tingling all over, yet she didn't get the impression that she was being lied to but something was definitely off. In the end, she rationalized it away as not being used to a world where Hook and Regina weren't at each others throats. Little did she know just how strange the day had been for everyone involved. If only she knew...


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The day of their date arrived. Emma had a lot of nervous energy to burn which made it hard for her to sit still. This made work next to impossible. She tried occupying her time by playing darts but the nervous buzz of energy streaking throughout her body threw off her aim.

 _"_ _So much for being the daughter of Snow White,_ " she mused to herself. She gave that up in favor of searching the internet. She found some amusing cat videos on You Tube that occupied some of her time. After that, she patrolled the town...twice. Still it was only 11am. Inspiration struck! She'd do the paper work Regina always hounded her about. That would surely eat up a significant chunk of time. And it did. She was so engrossed in the tedious work that she didn't see the delivery man standing in the doorway of her office. She nearly pulled her gun on the man after he cleared his throat to get her attention.

"Dammit Lucius, you could've been shot!" She exclaimed in fright taking her hand away from her side arm.

"Sorry Sheriff," he apologized, "I've been calling out for you. I was beginning to think that you weren't here."

"Oh my bad, I was just caught up. What's that?" she asked noticing the four foot by two foot white rectangular box he was holding in his hands. He handed it over to her, and she took it with thanks. She gave it a light shake before opening it. On top of a layer of pink tissue paper lay a note in neat script that said, "Wear Me." She pushed the tissue paper aside to reveal a pair of black two inch heels with an ankle strap. She pulled them out to inspect them closer.

"Omigod," she shouted jumping up and down in excitement. She then saw the garment that was still in the box. She pulled it out to reveal a black dress. Holding it up by the hanger against her body, she saw that the right side of the dress stopped mid-thigh while the left side of the dress tapered off until it reached her mid-calf. The dress tied behind her neck, as well as around the middle of her back. There was a two inch hot pink ruffle along the border of the dress. It was amazing, and it was her exact size. Both were. She was starting to think that she underestimated Hook all this time. She was so excited that she had to share her joy with someone.

" _Regina,"_ she thought while carefully placing everything back in the box so she could make her way to the Mayor's office. She grabbed her paper work to use as an excuse to see the Mayor. She dashed across the street to the Mayor's office her body humming with excitement. Blowing off Regina's secretary, she barged into the Mayor's office.

"Regina," she said breathlessly.

"Swan," Hook said standing up in alarm, "Are you alright." Emma nodded closing the door. She walked over to the empty chairs across from Regina's desk. The box was sitting on her lap.

"I've got a date with Killian tonight," she reminded her friend.

"Hardly a cause for alarm dear, you've been on a number of dates with the man," Hook said trying his best to seem disinterested.

"I know, I know," Emma said quickly, "But today, this came for me." She handed over the box to her friend. She watched as Hook opened the box knowing that if anyone could appreciate fine fashion, it would be the impeccable Mayor. Hook looked at the items not sure what the big fuss was.

"They are Jimmy Choo's," Emma squealed like a little girl.

"Jimmy's shoes?" Hook asked shaking his head clearly not understanding.

"Regina, what is wrong with you?" Emma posed in disbelief. Her spider senses started to tingle.  
"Oh you said Jimmy Choo's, I simply misheard you Emma that's all," Hook replied dismissively. Hook pretended to inspect the dress figuring that would be what Regina would do.

"Very nice," Hook said appreciatively.

"Rigghhht," Emma agreed, "I don't even know where he is taking me!"

"Well Captain Hook seems to be stepping up his game," said the Mayor, "Why not enjoy the journey, dear?"

"It's just different is all. I am not used to it." Emma admitted.

"You have no idea," Hook muttered under his breath.

"Did you say something Regina?"

"Oh just that I hope you have a wonderful time dear. You deserve to be spoiled and pampered by your suitor so just relax," Hook suggested.

"Oh crap!" Emma exclaimed looking at the time, "I better go!" Emma dashed out of the Mayor's office.

"See you tomorrow," she yelled from down the hall not bothering to wait for a response from the Mayor. Once Hook was sure Emma was long gone, he pulled his phone out of his pocket dialing Regina's number.

"Where are you taking Emma on our date tonight?" He rudely demanded.

"Good day to you too, Killian," Regina responded drolly.

"Hello Regina," Hook amended his greeting.

"Now what can I do for you Killian?" Regina asked with mock sweetness dripping from her tone.

"Where are you taking Emma tonight? I saw the dress and the heels," he said.

"Did she like them?" Regina asked breathlessly.

"Yeah she liked them. She oohed and ahhed over a man named Choo. Women." he grumbled. Regina's insides did a giddy flip flop at the thought of Emma liking the outfit she picked out for her.

" _I can't wait to see her in that dress,_ " she thought, " _Wait, what?"_

"Did you hear me Regina?" Hook questioned.

"Oh I beg your pardon Hook, we seem to have a bad connection," she lied.

"Can you hear me now?" Hook asked again.

"Yes dear now what were you saying?"'

"The date, I was asking about your plans for the bloody date!" He said losing his patience.

"Emma always wanted to learn how to salsa, so I am taking her to a dance studio in Portland for a private lesson," she informed him.

"Salsa? Isn't that something you eat?" he asked dumbly.

"Yes moron but it is also a style of dancing!" Regina schooled the clueless pirate.

"And Emma likes this salsa thing?" he asked.

"Honestly Hook, do you know nothing about the woman you've been dating? She is totally obsessed with Dancing With the Stars. I can't get her to shut up about it!" she said in exasperation.

"Hey I know things too," he retorted suggestively.

 _"_ _And I am beginning to as well,"_ Regina thought snidely referring back to the kiss she shared with Emma earlier.

"Of course you do," Regina placated, "But maybe if you took the time to get to know her more on a different level, you would've gotten to know her on THAT level much quicker."

"Do you even know her favorite color?" Regina continued as a way to fill the silence coming from the other end of the line.

"No but I'm supposing you do," Hook answered

"Of course I do because I am her friend moron!" You need to get past your sexual attraction and look underneath the woman to discover exactly what it is about her that makes her so darn attractive!" Regina told Hook.

"So I can use you to learn how to just be her friend," Hook said thinking out loud.

"Sure why not, knock yourself out." Regina agreed.

"But you are making me look bad!" Hook whined.

"Quit being an ass. I am doing nothing of the sort. In fact, I think you'll find I am actually making you look good," she said confidently. Hook let that information sink into his brain like falling into quick sand, slowly. Regina was right. This could only benefit him in the long run.

"Oh by the way Captain," Regina said as an after thought, "Emma always comes by for lunch after one of your little dates."

"Really?" He asked clearly surprised, "Why does she do that?"

"Torture, girl talk? What do I care? It is all the same to me but I suggest you use this time to learn more about Emma," She suggested, "Be supportive, listen to her, ask questions, and offer her advice if she asks for it. But do it with snark," Regina cautioned "Or else she will most certainly become suspicious."

"Right then, girl talk. I got this!" Hook said confidently, "Oh Regina I forgot to mention that I spoke with Tinkerbell about our situation."

"And?" she replied impatiently.

"Much the same as when we tried to tell Emma," he said sadly.

"It appears that our little secret is meant to be just that," she said woefully.

"Yes well, at least you have my date to get to," he said cheerfully, "Now don't do anything I wouldn't do." She could hear Hook laughing at her so she pushed the button severing the phone call.

"Moron," she cursed aloud before dropping the phone on her bed. Regina couldn't waste time on matters of frivolity. She had a date to prepare for! One that, for the first time in her life, she was actually looking forward to.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Just a reminder: Hook is in Regina's body, and Regina is in Hook's body. So it is Regina that is going on a date with Emma. SQ endgame all the way! Plus, I really appreciate the reviews, follows, and favorites. They are important!

Chapter 8

Regina already had her outfit picked out for the date. She dressed in a pair of charcoal gray chinos, paired with a black button down shirt. She tucked the shirt into her pants, rolled the sleeves up to her elbows, then finished off her ensemble with a charcoal gray vest. The finishing touch was a handkerchief that matched the hot pink trim in Emma's dress. She tucked it neatly into the breast pocket of the vest. Regina really wanted a clean shaven face but didn't know the first thing about shaving a man's face, so she made an appointment at the local barbershop. Her conversation with Hook had her running behind, so she hurriedly walked to the barbershop. If anyone would have told Regina that she would enjoy the process of having her face shaved, she would've scoffed and likely resorted to magic to turn said person into a toad. However, there was something soothing about the rhythmic sound of the straight razor scraping across her face and throat. Then the soothing hot towel placed on her face eased her tender pores. Women always go the crap end when it comes to beauty treatments. Having your bikini waxed is certainly no walk in the park. In fact, walking can be rather painful after a wax.

 _"Maybe I should schedule an appointment for a Brazilian,"_ Regina thought evilly before deciding panty hose and a bra were probably torture enough for the pirate. After the shave was complete, she walked over to the flower shop to pick out a bouquet for Emma. She certainly was going all out. She didn't know if she'd ever get the chance to do this again, so she wanted to make it memorable for Emma. She hand picked the flowers for their specific meaning and even help to put the arrangement together in an aesthetically pleasing bouquet. Because Hook can't drive a car yet, Regina arranged for a car to pick her up from the flower shop. Giving the driver directions, she was on her way to pick up Emma. The drive over was too short but not too short that Regina didn't have time to feel anxious. She felt as if there was a pile of rocks sitting in her stomach. She took some deeps breaths in through her nose releasing them loudly through her mouth to calm down. It helped enough to get her out of the car and to Emma's doorstep. Wiping her sweaty palm on her pants, she knocked on the door. Emma must have been waiting on the other side of the door because she wasn't even done knocking when the door flung wide open. Emma greeted her with a smile as bright as the August sun. Regina's breath stuck in her throat at just how beautiful Emma looked. She looked Emma over from head to toe marveling at how well the dress fit. She knew it would flatter Emma's lithe frame while accentuating the more womanly curves of her breasts and hips.

"Emma, you are truly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," she told the Sheriff once she found the ability to make words again. A blush spread wide across Emma's face at the sincerity of the compliment.

"Killian, this is amazing," she said referring to the outfit, "How did you even know my size?" Regina shrugged the question off diverting the attention to the bouquet of flowers in her hands.

"These are for you" she said extending the flowers out for Emma to take.

"Killian wow! First the dress, now flowers...you've outdone yourself," Emma gushed.

"Should we call it a night then?" Regina teased.

"Hell no, just let me put these in water, and then we can go," Emma said while Regina followed her into the apartment. Once Emma placed the flowers in a vase, she turned to leave. It was then she took complete stock of Hook's appearance.

"Killian you look extremely dashing tonight," she told him giving him another once over, "OMG did you even shave?" She used the back of her hand to caress his cheeks reveling in their softness.

"You like?" Regina asked grabbing her hand holding it captive against her smooth cheek.

"Very much so,"Emma said huskily. She removed her hand replacing it with her cheek rubbing it against the pirate's softly.

"Mm definitely like," she hummed. Emma's proximity in the dress that looked tailor made for her coupled with her seductive tone caused an unexpected twitch in Regina's private parts.

"Not now," she hissed squishing her eyes tight against the sensation. She brought to mind the nauseating images of Snow White and Prince Charming kissing as a way to squelch the pending erection.

"Did you say something?" Emma wondered pulling back to see Hook's pained expression.

"Ah yes, I said we should go now," she choked out in reply grateful that the images of Snow White and her true love were sickening enough to quench the fire in her groin.

"Alright, let me grab my purse," Emma told the pirate. Once Emma fetched her purse, the pair made their way out of the apartment.

"Damn Hook, you even smell good. Are you wearing cologne?" she asked sniffing appreciatively. Regina paused to sniff at her clothing.

"Deodorant?" she said more as a question than an answer causing Emma to giggle all the way out of the building. She stopped in her tracks when she saw the sleek, black limo parked at the curb. Regina proceeded a few steps before realizing that Emma was no longer in step with her. She turned around looking at Emma in question.

"Is that for us?" Emma asked in shock pointing at the car.

"Yes it is," Regina confirmed beckoning Emma over to the car. Opening the door, Regina held her hand out to help Emma into the car.

"Where exactly are we going?" Emma asked once Regina was seated next to her in the car.

"Out of Storybrook is all I am going to tell you," she replied cryptically.

"But how will we get back in?" she posed the legitimate concern.

"Worry not dear, I have the Snow Queen's scroll should any problems arise," she said comfortingly.

"Well it seems you have thought of everything," Emma mused watching Hook fetch two glasses, and a bottle of champagne from the limo's mini bar.

"Not everything apparently," Regina said with chagrin holding up the unopened champagne bottle to Emma to open since she couldn't do the task one handed, "Would you please do the honors Ms. Swan?" Emma took the bottle opening it with a pop. She poured the amber liquid into one cup, handed it to Hook, then filled the second glass. She set the bottle back in the bucket with a plunk and a crunch of the ice.

"We should make a toast or something?" Emma suggested suddenly.

"Indeed to what?" Regina looked at Emma questioningly.

"I don't know, I suck at these kinda things," Emma admitted.

"Eloquence certainly is not one of your most charming attributes," Regina teased.

"Hey," her date pouted sticking out her bottom lip.

"How about this," Regina suggested, "Here's to lovers everywhere. The has beens, the are nows, and the ones that one day will be."

"I like it," she said letting the potential settle in before clinking her glass against her date's. Since they had about an hours journey, Regina kept Emma busy with idle chit chat ranging from town gossip to Emma's taste in music. Before Emma realized it, they'd arrived at their destination in Portland. Regina got out of the car first once again lending a gentlemanly hand out to assist Emma out of the car. Emma squinted her eyes until they readjusted to the light of day.

"Alejandro's school of Dance," she read the sign on the building out loud. Regina tugged Emma by the hand towards the building.

"What are we doing here?" she asked as a small grin of hope spread across her face.

"Why, we are here to learn, silly," Regina said teasingly.  
"Really?" Emma asked in a high pitched tone of wonder and disbelief.

"Yes, we are," Regina said holding the door open for Emma.

"I've always wanted to learn how to salsa," Emma said finding it difficult to speak over the excitement she was feeling in her heart.

"I know," Regina said simply before being greeted by a handsome looking Hispanic man who introduced himself as Alejandro. Regina made their introductions as they were being led further into the studio. Alejandro had a female assistant waiting to help. His assistant paired with Regina. Regina didn't need that much instruction. During a particularly dull time during the curse, Regina purchased a lot of instructional videos. Some of which included learning how to master various dances. Regina was somewhat adept at many styles of dance. Alejandro partnered with Emma. They were individually taught the basic moves of learning how to shift their weight by stepping while the upper body remains level and unaffected by the weight changes. Its the weight shift that cause the hips to move. Once they got the basic rhythm of the dance down, Alejandro paired Emma and Regina together. Alejandro stood behind Emma, while Valentina stood behind Hook. The instructors guided the pair in the dance until they were content on their own. Emma was the first one to realize they were doing it on their own.

"Killian, we're doing it!" she exclaimed joyfully. Unfortunately her concentrated wavered breaking their rhythm and she stomped down on Regina's foot.  
"Ow Ms. Swan," she scolded stopping the dance to rub her foot.

"Oops," she said regretfully before placing a small kiss on the pirate's cheek in consolation.

"Shall we continue?" Regina asked holding out her hand. Alejandro and Valentine included some small turns in their lesson as well. Regina guided Emma effortlessly around the room. Emma laughed the entire time and Regina found herself thinking that she would've certainly enjoyed dancing more if she had Emma as her dance partner. Somehow, Emma made everything better. Since salsa incorporated a lot of improvisation in the dance style, Regina decided to take it up a notch. She initiated a quick, sharp turn before bringing Emma back brusquely against her frame. Emma's breath caught in her throat at the proximity. She was even more shocked when her partner shifted positions so that her right hip was touching Hook's right hip. Her right leg was between the pirates and vice versa. Regina took Emma' arms and slung them around her neck while she put her hands on Emma's hips. Regina rotated her hips in time with the music punctuating the dance with some grinding. Emma was limp in her arms making her extremely pliable. Both were in such a daze that they failed to notice the music was no longer playing. Both dancers were staring at each other flushed. Their spell was broken when they heard their instructors applauding their efforts. They both expressed their gratitude towards their instructors before leaving. Back in the car, Emma was questioning Hook's adeptness at dancing especially the dirty kind.

"I'm sure you didn't learn that in the Enchanted forest," she teased.

"Nope," Regina replied slyly.

"Well? Then tell me!" Emma prodded.

"Dirtydancingmayormaynotbeoneofmyfavoritemoviesofalltime," Regina said in one single long breath. Emma's mind wandered to a conversation she had with her son regarding her friend, the Mayor. He told her that one of his mother's favorite movies of all time was Dirty Dancing but then he swore Emma to secrecy. Regina would probably fire ball anyone who knew she was a romantic at heart. Knowing that, Emma knew Regina would've enjoyed this outing and she wished that there was some way Regina could've experienced it along side with her. Thinking about Regina on a date with Killian was just bad form, so she cleared her mind from all thoughts about the Mayor.

"Nothing wrong with that. Patrick Swayze had some major moves!" Emma said trying to suppress the laugh that was bubbling forth in the back of her throat. If Emma were in detective mode, it might have occurred to her to question how he saw the movie in the first place. Hook hadn't been in this world for that long.

Emma just assumed they'd be heading back to Storybrook so she was surprised when their car stopped again so soon.

"Where are we now?" she questioned peeking at her surroundings out of the car window.

"You think I'd take you back to Storybrook without feeding you first?" Regina asked. If on cue, Emma's stomach roared to life. Emma placed a hand over her stomach blushing like a virgin on her prom night.  
"Come dear," Regina said leading the way, "Let's get that thing fed." Keeping with the theme of the night, Regina took Emma to a quaint, softly lit restaurant named Abuelita's. Giving Hook's name to the reservationist, the pair were quickly led to their reserved table. Regina held the chair for Emma to sit in before seating herself in her own chair. Their waitress made her way to the table shortly thereafter. Introducing herself as Meghan, she listed the daily specials before taking their drink order. Knowing Emma preferred red wine, she ordered a bottle of their top Barbera wine. With the assistance of the wine, conversation flowed freely between the pair. It was easy to get to know Emma because Regina's defenses were complete lax. It briefly saddened her that she couldn't feel this open with Emma as herself. She realized one of the biggest reasons for that was due to having to squash down her feelings of attraction to her son's other mother. Regina was colored impressed with Emma's ability to converse on just about any topic ranging from pop culture to classic literature. Emma, on her part, was shocked that Hook seemed interested in the things she was saying and was actively participating in a range of topics. Their current topic of debate centered on Emma's favorite book The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger. Emma shared what a comfort the book was to her during her turbulent teen years.

"Perhaps that is because the hero of the story, Holden, struggled with similar things as you did when you were younger," Regina suggested between bites of her dinner. Emma looked up sharply from her plate.

"What do you mean?" she inquired. Regina took a sip of wine to wash down the remnants of her food before responding.

"He is a well know icon for teenage rebellion," she said as if stating the obvious. Emma simply stared back at her willing her to continue.

"He also deals with the complex issues of developing an identity, feelings of not quite belonging anywhere, loss, inability to connect with others, and feeling of alienation," she explained more in depth, "From the little you have shared with me about your past, it seems like that is an accurate summation of the time you spent in the foster care system." Tears immediately sprang to Emma's eyes as the words her date said hit like a wrecking ball to her gut. She shifted uncomfortably back and forth in her chair trying to find her equilibrium. Regina immediately sensed her discomfort, and took Emma's hand in hers. She sensed that Emma need the physical contact as comfort and as a way to ground herself back into the present.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you Emma," Regina said as she softly stroked the back of Emma's hand. Looking back at her date with watery eyes, Emma replied, "I just thought I liked it because I liked the idea of Holden standing in the rye field catching the kids as they fell. Kids should have someone to protect them." Regina met Emma's sad smile with an understanding one of her own.

"Yes, you should've had someone to protect you, Emma." Regina said solemnly as she felt the guilt and shame of casting the curse sweep over her like a tsunami. She would have gotten carried away in the flood if Emma had not replied.

"Hey, it's not like it is your fault anyway."

"Well, I am sorry all the same," Regina said taking the opportunity presented to give her friend an apology. She wondered why it took her this long to give Emma something she deserved.

"You know, I have forgiven Regina and my parents for that a long time ago," she stated.

"You have?" Regina asked incredulously. She was amazed by the capacity of Emma's heart to forgive. Emma's admission, like superglue, mended the fragmented pieces of her guilty heart.

"Yeah, you know I just can not regret Henry. He's the light of my life, and the best thing I've ever done in my entire life," Emma finished.

"He's an amazing boy," her date agreed wholeheartedly. Emma's attention drifted off into the distance where a band was setting up equipment. She grabbed their waitresses attention to question her.

"Oh that is the band setting up for the night," she explained, "We have live music and dancing every Wednesday night starting at 9pm." Emma thanked her sending her on her way. She looked at her date with an accusing glint in her steely green eyes.

"You planned this all along didn't you," she playfully accused.

"Whatever do you mean?" Regina feigned innocence.

"The dance lessons, the Mexican restaurant that has live music and dancing every Wednesday night..."

"It's Wednesday?" Regina asked playfully confused. Emma threw her napkin at her date continuing to smile her mega watt smile. In that moment, gazing at Emma, whose smile was so bright it almost hurt to look at, she wished more than anything that Emma knew the truth. She wanted Emma to know that she was the one who meticulously planned every last detail of the date with the sole intention of pleasing Emma. But wishing never got Regina anywhere so she decided it best to live in the moment and enjoy the wonderful things Emma brought into her life whether it be as herself or as the pirate. She noticed a few other patrons making use of the dance floor so she stood offering her hand.

"Shall we put our lessons to good use?" she asked. Emma accepted her extended hand allowing herself to be led to the dance floor. The pair danced the night away working up quite a sweat. Eventually, fatigue hit the due but neither wanted the night to end so they just swayed together to the beat of the Latin music. Connected tightly from shoulder to hip, they lost themselves in the rhythm and in each other. It was as if the world didn't exist outside of being in each others arms. Regina reveled in the smell of Emma that flooded her senses. She smelled of fresh air and sunshine. Emma couldn't quite get over how in tune Hook seemed to be with her lately. He was being all she ever wanted from a partner. The pair was shocked out of their haze when the harsh over head fluorescent lighting was turned on. Emma looked around realizing the restaurant was in the process of breaking down for the night.

"Go home," someone shouted jovially to the duo. Emma shot a sheepish grin in the direction of the mystery voice as she was led out of the restaurant to the awaiting car. Once in the car, Emma divested herself of her shoes. They were amazing but after a night of dancing, even the prettiest of shoes end up torturous on your feet. Regina grabbed Emma's legs placing them in her lap. She used her good hand to rub the soreness out of Emma's feet and legs. She marveled at the feel of definition at her fingertips. She unintentionally edged higher and higher up Emma's toned legs until she heard Emma's breath catch in her throat. She shot a questioning look at her date. Regina gulped audibly as she was met with burning green eyes narrowed in desire. Emma shook off Regina's hand as she crawled her way over to Regina. With her knees on the side of Regina's hips, she sat gently down on her lap. Emma snaked her arms around her date's neck looking down at her lips. Regina placed her hands on Emma's hips to hold her in place on her lap, and because she didn't know what else to do with her hands. Meeting Emma's gaze, Regina felt like prey that was about to be devoured. She watched as Emma's tongue snaked out to moisten her dry lips. Emma brought her head so close to Regina's that their noses brushed against one another.

"This night has been A-MAZ-ING," Emma husked against Regina's lips, "But you know what would make this night even better?" Emma nuzzled her nose against the side of Regina's.

"No what?" Regina responded breathlessly. Emma pulled back giving Regina a look that let her know in no uncertain terms what Emma meant. Sex. Regina gripped Emma's hair in her hand giving it a light tug which made Emma tilt her head to the side exposing her slender neck. Regina brought her lips to Emma's neck blazing a trail of open mouth kisses beginning at her collar bone and working her way up. Her ministrations were rewarded by a trail of goosebumps erupting across Emma's pale flesh. She nipped an sucked her way up to Emma's ear. She tugged Emma's ear lobe lightly into her mouth giving it a gentle nip before releasing it. Keep her mouth next to Emma's ear, Regina whispered her next words carefully.

"As much as I would like to throw you down on this seat, and take you right now, our first time is not going to be in the back seat of a limo." She punctuated her statement with more licking and sucking causing Emma to arch her neck back for easier access. Acting instinctively, Emma began a slow, sensual grind against the bulge she felt in her date's pants.

"Emma," Regina hissed through clenched teeth before tugging sharply on Emma's hair to get her attention. Hissing at the sensation of having her hair pulled, Emma wondered how her date knew that would be something she liked. Her desire skyrocketed into full blown lust and she crushed her lips roughly against Hook without preamble. She figured if Hook could be rough with her, then he could take it if she was rough with him. Gripping Hook's face in her hands, she dominated the kiss completely from the start. She forced her tongue into her date's mouth not even bothering with permission. Regina sat back biding her time for now allowing Emma to have control as Emma's tongue repeatedly sought out hers swiping sinfully against hers time and again in heated exploration. Regina felt Emma about to retreat, so she sucked Emma's tongue back into her mouth to prevent that from happening. Regina took back control of the kiss but Emma didn't back down easily. She continued to rotate her hips over her date's lap. She would occasionally slip some back and forth rolling action as well. Regina felt like she was losing her mind at the sensations. She didn't know what to do, so she gripped Emma's back side pulling her even tighter against her crotch which Emma took as a sign of encouragement.

"Shit," she swore against Emma's sweaty neck. She had no point of reference to refer back to in order to know how long she could last in such a state. All she knew is that it felt like a fuse had been lit, and it was traveling at warp speed up the base of her shaft in accordance to the pace Emma set forth with her hips. If Emma sped up her hips, it seemed as if the pace of the fuse increased. Likewise if she slowed down. Emma was using her mouth to explore her date's neck and shoulders was only making the situation worse. Regina was panting into Emma's neck which only spurred Emma on more. The only thing Regina could do was hold on tight. With a few more twists of her hips, explode is exactly what Regina did. It felt as if her nerve endings were on fire causing her to groan loudly as she came. Regina tensed up as she road out the fire storm. Emma noted the tenseness, and looked at the expression on the face of the pirate. It was a mix between ecstasy and pain.

 _"_ _What just happened here?"_ Emma wondered in confusion. She tried to get her date to look at her but the pirate just buried his head into her shoulder.

"Did you just..." she asked sliding off Hook's lap.

"Yes," Regina admitted dejectedly looking down at her pants noticing a small wet spot. She tried to cover her embarrassment with her hand.

"There's no need for that," Emma said grabbing her hand away, "It's actually extremely flattering."

"It is?" Regina asked clearly astounded.

"Mmm hmm," She said snuggling against her shoulders, "A few more minutes and I would have been the one to leave a mess on your pants." Regina's eyes bugged out at the implication of Emma's statement. The thought of Emma Swan almost coming in her lap was an exhilarating feeling that she felt deep in the pit of her belly. It left more questions than answers. She was realizing more and more that she was attracted to Emma in a sexual way. However being in Hook's body brought to mind the fable of the starving fox who could see the grapes dangling from the tree but had no way to reach the grapes to slake his hunger. It was an exquisite torture to say the very least. Regina could only ponder what would become of her attraction, of her feelings when she was put back in her own body.

The drive back to Storybrook was quiet after that. Emma had fallen asleep from exhaustion. Upon arriving back at Emma's apartment, Regina roused her date from her slumber. Emma staggered sleepily out of the car dropping her shoes in her clumsiness. Sighing in adoration, Regina picked up the shoes, then she scooped up her date.

"Put me down," Emma protested weakly.

"Really?" Regina asked seriously.

"No, not really. I just don't want you to think I am some damsel in distress," Emma admitted.

"Never," Regina replied in mock horror carrying the Savior to the door of her apartment. She set her down gingerly in front of the door so that they were standing face to face.

"I had a great time tonight," she said smiling shyly at her date.

"As did I," Regina replied stepping in closer so she could lean in for a good night kiss. Emma smiled softly at her. She brought her lips to Regina's in a slow, soft kiss. Emma ended the kiss but kept their foreheads joined together.

"Night," she said backing away to open her door. Regina made sure she was safely in before responding, "Good night, Ms. Swan." Something about the tone and the inflection of those words gave Emma pause. It triggered the image of the Mayor to spring to her mind. The fact that the date began with thoughts of Regina, and ended with thoughts of Regina should've clued the Sheriff in that something was awry. But it was late, she was exhausted, and morning was literally upon her. It hurt too much to think, and all she wanted to do was crawl into her welcoming bed. Thoughts could wait, sleep could not.

Regina got back to Granny's buzzed with energy. She knew there would be no way sleep would come easy to her. She had to take a shower to clean up the mess she made earlier, and she hoped a shower would help relax at least her muscles if not her mind as well. While in the shower, Regina came up with a brilliant gift idea to commemorate her date with Emma. After toweling off, and dressing for sleep, she grabbed her lap top for some web surfing. It took her a few minutes, but she eventually found what she was looking for in a bookstore located in Oxford, England. Satisfied with her purchase, she found it easier to relax. For the first time in a long time, Regina Mills went to sleep with a smile on her face and an easy heart.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Sorry for the delay between chapters. My muse has been missing. Please forgive any grammatical or spelling errors as well.

Emma was hovering blissfully in a state of semi-consciousness when she felt a dip in her bed as if someone had sat down on the edge. She then felt the pin point precision of two eyes staring her down. She lifted the pillow off of her head to find her mother sitting on her bed watching her.

"Mom," she mumbled sleepily, "Are you watching me sleep 'cause that's kinda creepy."

"Yes, I am," Mary Margaret admitted without shame, "But I came in here to wake you up. I thought you had to work today at 7am."

"I do," Emma replied stretching languidly in her bed, "Why what time is it?"

"Quarter til," Mary Margaret answered.

"What!?" Emma exclaimed shooting hastily out of bed. She undressed in a whirlwind strewing clothes haphazardly about her room.

"Emma," her mother chastised her for carelessly throwing her dress around before picking it up and laying it neatly on the bed. Emma quickly picked through her wardrobe slinging on the first suitable outfit she came across.

"Sorry, gotta go," Emma shouted as she ran out of the room.

"Have a good day," her mother called after her.

Emma made it to the station without any time to spare. She spied a steaming cup of coffee on her desk alongside a white take out bag from Granny's. The bag contained a bear claw, and a bowl of mixed fruit. She found a hand written note under the bag that said:

"Can't have my favorite Sheriff falling asleep on the job now can we? I know you'll certainly enjoy the bear claw, but it won't kill you to eat the fruit as well. For me? Please?" Emma smiled sipping her perfectly made coffee. The fact that Hook got up early enough to deliver this to her office made her feel giddy inside. It was also a bit daunting to her as well. If she were honest with herself, no one had ever pursued her this way before. Guys were predictable sticking to their age old agenda, so Emma always knew to keep up her guard. Hook's agenda had been in line with what she was used to, to a degree. Emma usually knew what to expect but their date last night was different. It seemed like Hook was stepping up his game. It was a little disconcerting and played right into Emma's insecurities. Emma was glad she was having lunch with Regina later. She hoped her friend might offer some clarity and help set her back on an even keel.

After dropping off Emma's breakfast, Regina having nothing to do, meandered around town. She bumped into Belle as she was opening the library for the day.

"I beg your pardon Ms. French," Regina said in apology. She bent down to collect the books she caused Belle to drop.

"Thank you Killian," the librarian responded before heading into the library. Regina followed her with the book, placing them on the counter.

"Belle," she said cautiously, "I don't suppose there is anything that you need help with today is there?" Belle's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Here," she asked skeptically wondering what Killian's angle could possibly be.

"Is there any other library in Storybrook Ms. French?" Regina retorted.

"Well, no but forgive me for wondering what your motivation might be for wanting to...help," Belle retorted right back.

"Oh well, I find myself with nothing but empty time on my hands, and nothing to fill it with," She replied truthfully.

"No treasure to loot, no booty to plunder," Belle snickered.

"If you don't need help, just say so," Regina replied testily turning away to leave. Belle grabbed her before she could leave.

"Look, if you are really serious, I could use your help; with Storybrook Story Time," Belle said.

"What would you need me to do?" Regina asked genuinely interested.

"It is a reading program designed to foster a life long love of reading," Belle informed the pirate, "All you have to do is read to a group of toddlers ages three to five." Regina contemplated for a short moment before readily agreeing. Belle was somewhat in a state of shock because she never really expected Killian to agree.

"There are two thirty minute groups starting at 10am," she said warily as if expecting the self-centered man to back out at any moment.

"Is there an assigned reading list?" Regina legitimately questioned.

"Umm no, usually I just pick something age appropriate?" she answered still half expecting him to bail out.

"Don't let me keep you from your day Ms. French," Regina told the librarian effectively dismissing her. Belle just shook her head in confusion. She watched as Hook perused the children section of the library in search of suitable books. Regina based her selection on the books she read to Henry when he was between the ages of three to five. She selected The Gruffalo which is a story about a cunning mouse who makes it through the perils of the forest under the guise that he is on his way to a a meeting with the much feared beast, the Gruffalo. Regina sat down in the reading area waiting for the children to arrive. At first, some of the mother's were hesitant about the reformed pirate interacting with their children. However, they were quickly won over by the genuine interest Hook showed for each kid. He really got into the story using different voices for each character. The children were enthralled with his performance. Belle got so many compliments that she couldn't resist peeking in for the second reading. She even snapped a quick video on her phone and sent the footage to Emma. After the children departed, Belle approached the pirate with a huge grin on her face.

"You look like you just swallowed a canary, Ms. French," Regina quipped.

"Who knew the nefarious Captain Hook had a soft spot for children," she teased.

"I do not," Regina adamantly contradicted.

"It's okay. Your secret is safe with me," she laughed at the half-hearted look of contempt on Hook's face, "See you on Monday?" Regina's face brightened at the thought but she quickly squashed it down trying to down play her enthusiasm.

"I think I can fit that into my plans," she replied casually.

"Mm hm," Belle said playing along. Regina made her way towards the exit. She paused but did not turn around.

"Thank you Belle," she said just loud enough for the librarian to hear. If she had bothered to turn around, she would have seen the sincere smile Belle aimed in her direction but instead, she just left to continue her day of leisure.

Lunch time found Emma at the Mayor's office seated across from Regina. Emma was enjoying a club sandwich with potato salad while the Mayor nibbled on bites of her Cobb salad. They exchanged common pleasantries until Emma casually mentioned the date.

"How did it go?" Hook asked between bites of food.

"It was a really amazing date, Regina," Emma said still somewhat in awe.

"Why do you sound so surprised? Aren't all your dates with Hook amazing?" Hook tried to pose the question as neutrally as he could but he found himself feeling a tad bit defensive.

"You know with Hook, there is usually an element of fun, but last night was different," Emma explained.

"Different?" Hook questioned pushing his food aside so he could listen attentively.

"Yeah the date was hella fun, don't get me wrong but there was also an element of romance, and pursuit," Emma said wistfully, "Do you know what I mean?"

"Not sure that I do Emma," Hook replied truthfully.

"Well the date seemed to be more about me, and my interests. Like you know I've always wanted to learn how to salsa so where does he take me? To a dance studio!" she exclaimed.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Hook said feeling slightly confused.

"Of course Regina, but it wasn't just that. It was the conversations we had, and the care he took of me the whole entire night. I'm not used to a guy caring that much about whether or not I enjoyed myself on a date," she said with a twinge of regret in her voice.

"It sounds like Hook went out of his way to make sure you had a good time," Hook summarized.

"And he was such a gentleman the whole night too. I practically threw myself at him," Emma admitted sheepishly.

"What?" Hook sputtered choking on a sip of water. Emma patted her friend lightly on the back.

"It got pretty hot and heavy in the back seat of the limo," Emma told her friend.

"It's not like Hook to pass up an opportunity like that," the pirate commented knowingly.

"Well, he did," Emma said ruefully, "And I am kinda glad he did. It made me feel like he wasn't just after me for sex."

"You know Emma, I think Hook really cares about you, and I think that he sees you as more than just a roll in the hay. Emma snickered at the sudden intrusion of a memory from the night before.

"What's that look for?" Hook asked.

"Well you know how I said things got hot and heavy?" Emma replied.

"Yes," Hook answered waiting.

"Well I was on his lap, you know..." Emma trailed off hoping her friend would catch her drift.

"And," Hook said not completely following Emma's direction.

"And he, you know...in his pants," Emma said in a hushed whisper. Emma noted the flush of comprehension spread across her friend's face.

"He didn't," the Mayor muttered shaking her head.

"He did," Emma giggled, "So I know he wouldn't mind heading in that direction but I don't know, somehow him turning me down despite what his body seemed to want makes me feel more desirable, more cherished, more..." she trailed off in thought.

"Special?" Hook supplied for Emma.

"Yes exactly. I knew you would get it Regina," Emma responded.

"I do get it Emma," Hook told her, "You deserve that and so much more."

"You know what's funny?" Emma said changing the subject.

"No what?"

"The last date prior to this one, I was waiting for Hook at the docks, and he was late as usual. He didn't call or text to let me know he was going to be late," she reminisced, "And it just got me thinking about you."

"Me," the Mayor squeaked.

"Yeah, I thought about how you are always on time, how thoughtful you are, how you pretend not to care about me but covertly try to get me to do better for myself, how fierce you are in your love and devotion to Henry and even Snow," Emma paused to gauge her friend's reaction before continuing, "You are a good friend, Regina and standing there on those docks waiting for Killian once again, I found myself wishing Killian could be more like you." Hook thought back on that night. If he wasn't mistaken, that was also the night he witnessed a shooting star streak across the sky. His breathe was knocked out of him as the realization of what actually happened was like a swift kick in the gut.

"You did what?" Hook asked clearly aghast. Emma mistakenly thought her friend was disgusted by her admission so she nervously tried to back track from her statement.

"Umm, well you're just so amazing, and an amazingly awesome, beautiful friend, and I just thought how much easier my life would be if Hook was more like you but not in a sexual way," she rambled somewhat coherently, "Not that you aren't sexual...Oh God I am not helping things am I?"  
"Emma," the Mayor said holding her hand up to stop the nervous rant, "Please tell me if I heard you correctly. Did you say you made a wish?"

"Yeah I did," she said with a shrug of her shoulders not understanding what the big deal was.

"You made a wish in Storybrook?" the Mayor reiterated.

"What's the big deal, Regina?" she asked defensively, "I've made plenty of wishes since I've come here. It's not like they can all come true, right?" Hook's mind whirled a mile a minute.

" _This one did,_ " he thought to himself. He didn't want to panic or spook the Sheriff so he slipped the Mayoral mask back in place.

"Of course not dear," she answered contritely, "Of course not." But Hook was certain now he knew the cause behind his and Regina's mysterious body switch. The object of his affection had unwittingly had her wish granted. That much was certain. It was how to return things back to normal that remained completely uncertain. The pair finished up their lunch. Emma suggested plans later in the week before leaving the Mayor to her day.

Left alone in the Mayor's office, Hook lamented about his plight. After he got over the initial shock of Emma's wish, Hook felt extremely hurt. He realized the error of his ways, and all the ways he failed when it came to Emma. A former egotistical, tyrannical evil queen was more preferable to him. He just could not stomach the fact that he had completely and utterly failed when it came to Emma Swan. He tried to lose himself in the menial tasks of the Mayor's daily routine to no avail. He just kept returning to his ineptitude as a suitor, which eventually translated to his total ineptitude as a man. His ego had taken a direct hit, and his ship was slowly sinking. He was desperate to feel better. In desperate times, he had a fail safe way to cheer himself up. He instructed his assistant to cancel the rest of his appointments for the day before he left.

After her short stint at the library, Regina found herself aimlessly wandering the town. She was able to observe the town and interact with the inhabitants without the burden of being the Mayor weight down heavily upon her shoulders. She was sitting on the docks observing the fishing vessels returning from a day at sea with their bounty when her peaceful reverie was interrupted by the shrill ring of her cell phone. Seeing who was calling, she answered straight away.

"Hello," she said breathlessly.

"Is this Killian Jones?" a nasally male voice inquired. Regina checked the number again to clarify that it was Hook calling her.

"Yes. This is he. May I ask to whom I am speaking?" Regina asked politely.

"Yeah, this is Mack," the man replied. Regina could barely hear the man over the loud bass of music playing obnoxiously in the background.

"Mack did you say?" she tried plugging her open in so that she could hear better.

"Yeah," he spoke up, "Listen we got the Mayor down here. She's drunk off her ass and she demanded that I call you to come get her." Regina's stomach plummeted causing her to drop her phone dramatically on the ground. Once, she had her bodily functions under control, she resumed her conversation with the ever eloquent Mack.

"And where might the Mayor be?" she asked.

"She's at the Storybrook Bush Company on the east side," Mack informed her.

"She's where?!" Regina exclaimed in out-righteous indignation.

"Yeah, shocker to us too. Can you come get her or not 'cause our only other option is to call the Sheriff to come get her and we'd like to avoid that at all costs if you know what I mean," Mack said.

"Absolutely Mack. I will be right there," she said hurriedly, "Whatever you do, DO NOT call the Sheriff." Regina had already taken off once she heard where Killian had taken her body to.

 _"_ _The Storybrook Bush Company,"_ she fumed internally, _"I am going to flay him alive."_ Regina managed to get the the east side of town in about 20 minutes. She opened the door to the establishment but it took her eyes a moment to adjust to the darkened interior of the strip club. Once they were adjusted, she spied Killian sidled up next to the stage surrounded by a group of scantily clad women vying for the attention of the drunk Mayor. Apparently, the drunk Mayor quickly became a favorite in the club because of her deep pockets and her never ending ability to make it rain up in the club. Regina stomped her way over to the idiot pirate.

"Heyyy," the pirate slurred in greeting.

"Come on let's go," she said through clenched teeth attempting to pull the drunken pirate out by his arm.

"No you have to meet my new friends," he protested.

"No. We need to leave now!" Regina argued. Hook slung his arm around a buxom brunette introducing her as Diamond. He then proceeded to introduce her to Silver, Emerald, and Sapphire.

"Charmed, I'm sure," she said as politely as possible while trying to extract Hook from the clutches of the half naked women. Regina was so intent on her task of getting Hook away, and Hook was so intent on remaining where he was that both failed to notice the arrival of another dancer. Hook glanced over Regina's shoulders and froze in place.

"Uh oh," Regina heard Hook say before she felt a light tap on her left shoulder. There stood a petite blond haired, blue eyed woman. Before she could pose a question, the little woman hauled back her arm, and decked her in the right eye.

"Ow," she exclaimed loudly covering her eye, "What was that for?" Only then did Killian decide that it was in his best interest to vacate the building. He grabbed Regina by the arm and both stumbled out of the club into the harsh light of day. After walking a few blocks to put distance between himself and the strip club, he finally collapsed in a drunken heap on a nearby bench. Regina unceremoniously plopped down on the bench still holding her sore eye.

"Just what in the hell was all that about Hook?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"You mean Misti Dawn?" to which Regina nodded affirmatively, "Yeah well let's just say she is a pirate's worst nightmare!"

"Sunken chest and no booty?" Regina quipped sarcastically.

"Hardy har har," Killian responded.

"What in the hell were you thinking going to the Storybrook Bush Company of all places Killian?" she admonished.

"The uptight Mayor wouldn't be caught dead in a strip club," he accused

"Not since the curse broke and people retained their memories day after day," Regina said slyly.

"Naughty, naughty Madame Mayor," Hook said with a smirk.

"That's besides the point Killian! Going there now is out of character for me. Surely you know this!" she scolded the man, "How would you like it if I went and joined the priesthood or something equally preposterous?"

"I'm sorry Regina," he lamented, "I just wanted to feel better."

"And of course naked women hanging all over you would make you feel better," she said with a condescending roll of her eyes.

"They are always happy to see me," he commented lamely.

"No dogs are always happy to see people you moron, and Misti Dawn looked absolutely thrilled to see you again," she retorted.

"Long story," he said in avoidance.

"You said you wanted to feel better. What's wrong?" she asked in concern.

"I know why we have switched places," he finally told her.

"You do? Why? How?" She fired off a barrage of questions at him.

"Emma Swan," he said sadly.

"Emma," she questioned.

"Emma made a wish," he told her.

"In Storybrook?" she interrupted.

"That's what I said," he told her, "But not only did she make a wish in our quaint little town, she did so at the precise moment a shooting star fell from the sky."

"She made a wish on a falling star?!" Regina shouted. She stood up and began pacing back and forth.

"The idiot! I'm going to..." she seethed.

"I don't think it was intentional," Hook interrupted her rant, "Because I mentioned the falling star to her, but she appeared oblivious to it." Regina stopped mid-pace and faced Hook.

"What exactly was this wish of Ms. Swan?" she asked the pirate. Killian pretended not to hear the question and tried his damndest to look anywhere other than at the angry Mayor.

"Killian!" she said stepping directly into his field of vision.

"She said she wished that I could be more like you," he finally admitted hanging his head in defeat. Regina snorted derisively in response.

"Well of course she would. I mean what's not to like?" she asked haughtily.

"Yeah, yeah," Hook muttered sullenly. Regina sat back down next to the forlorn pirate.

"Look, I've told you this before but you need to try and be her friend. That may be the key to getting you back in your own body," she explained, "And you need to stop objectifying her and women in general."

"I do not objectify women!" he protested strongly.

"Says the man that I just had to drag out of a strip club!" she countered with a raise of her brow.

"You're right, Regina," he finally admitted, "I am still a work in progress."

"Come on," Regina said standing and pulling the man to his feet, "Let's get you home." Hook stood on wobbly legs assisted by the guidance of Regina's arm. They walked a ways in silence before a thought crossed Regina's mind.

"Hook, did Emma happen to mention why she wished you were more like me?" she wondered.

"Well she said something about how you are always on time, you don't take things for granted, you're so thoughtful and caring blah, blah, blah," he finished with some fake retching sounds for dramatic effect.

"She said all that?" Regina asked having a hard time keeping the shy smile from showing on her face.

"My God, I couldn't make this swill up if I tried. Maybe the two of you ought to date!" he tossed out.

"Well dating would just be a formality," she played along, "After all we do already have a son together." About this time, the pair neared Gold's Pawn Shop. Regina stopped abruptly outside the door to the shop. She looked at her tentative friend intently trying to gauge how to ask her next question without coming off as offensive.

"Killian, would you like to have your other hand back?" she asked in earnest.

"I tried that love, the crocodile tricked me with a cursed hand," he replied.

"What if I could get it back with no tricks, no deals, no curses?" she asked him.

"Is that even possible?" Hook wondered feeling tendrils of excitement spread through his body like spilled ink.

"It is if Rumplestiltskin owes me a favor," she told him.

"Does he?"

"He does," she nodded her head in affirmation.

"And you would use this priceless favor to help me...why?" Hook asked disbelieving.

"Honestly, I've been you for the past few days, and I've developed a keen appreciation for the struggles you endure on a daily basis with this for a hand," she said brandishing the hook in front of the pirate,"I nearly poked my eye out the other day when I went to cover my nose as I sneezed!"

"Ah well, you get used to it," he said sympathetically.

"But that's the thing Killian. Why should you have to? Not when there is something that can be done about it," she said emphatically, "So the question remains, do you want your hand back or do you not?" Hook paced back in forth in silent contemplation before turning to answer Regina.

"I would really appreciate your help in getting my hand back," he earnestly told her.

"Well then put on your big girl panties," she began before Hook interrupted.

"I'm not wearing panties, I am wearing a thong," he informed her.

"Okay well pull up your Mayoral thong and prepare to give the performance of a lifetime," she said conspiratorially, "Here is what you are going to have to do..." Regina outlined in detail the exact things he would need and how he'd need to act in order to convince Gold to give Hook his hand back. In the end, she need not have worried. Hook's penchant for flamboyance coupled with the effects of alcohol leant itself well to theatrics, and she emerged from Gold's shop with two fully functioning hands instead of one.

"High five," Hook said in celebration holding up his hands for Regina to slap. After clapping hands, Hook took a moment to express his sincere gratitude. Uncomfortable with the platitudes, Regina tried to shrug it off as no big deal.

"But it is a big deal Regina," he contradicted, "You just used a valuable favor from the Dark One on someone you can barely stand to be in the same room with. Some would say you were going soft."  
"Really Killian? I am in your body and I just got your hand returned to you, and you are choosing to goad me about it?" she replied testily, "You are questioning the evil queen's fortitude yet I am beginning to think you are proof evolution can indeed go in reverse!"

"Ouch," Hook responded, "I guess I just don't understand why you'd do something like that for me."

"Yeah well I've walked a mile in your shoes so I know exactly how much you struggle, and you never complain," she said simply, "I guess I admire that, and can relate."

"Eh, like I said, you get used to it," he shrugged.

"Well now you no longer have to," she said, "And for the record, I don't hate you."  
"Ha I knew it! I've grown on you!" he exclaimed jubilantly.

"I swear Hook," Regina said stopping in front of her house, "Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology."

"Ugh I don't feel so good," Hook said holding his hand over his stomach. Seeing the look of queasiness on her friend's face, Regina snatched the keys from his hand unlocking the door in a hurry. She rushed her friend to the bathroom making it in the knick of time. She had just barely raised the toilet seat when Hook called Ralph on the big white telephone. Regina did what any good person would do and made sure to keep her hair out of the spray of vomit. Once she was satisfied Hook's upheaval was complete, she handed him a toothbrush to clean the acrid taste of bile out of his mouth. When that task was complete, she handed him four aspirin with a glass of water ensuring he drank the entire contents of the glass. She helped him change before escorting him into the bed.

"By the way dear," she said tucking him snugly under the covers, "Rum makes me sick every time."

"I'm a pirate inhabiting your body, and you are just telling me this now?" he groused, "Besides that's just blasphemous."

"Yes well nevertheless it is true," she said setting another glass of water by the bed.

"No more rum," he mumbled sleepily.

"And absolutely no more strip clubs," she shouted close to his pounding head, "Are we clear?"

"Crystal," he moaned holding his head in pain.

"Get some rest," she advised before shutting off the light and closing the door quietly behind her. Making her way to her study, she poured herself a glass of her infamous cider. Sitting on her sofa, she allowed herself a moment to ponder the implication of Emma's wish. Of course, she felt flattered that Emma wished her romantic interest was more like here. She felt something stirring inside her breast. Upon reflection, she identified the fluttering as feelings of hope. Hope that Emma might be attracted to her, hope that her feelings for the Savior weren't as one sided as she originally thought, hope for a future with a happy ending. Gulping down the rest of her cider in one manly swig, she summoned her inner evil queen to stamp out the flurries of hope. No one in the world or any world for that matter knew better than Regina Mills that hope was just another four letter word akin to fuck or shit. Regina learned the hard way that because it only serves to extend one's torment and suffering, hope is the worst type of evil that exists in the world today. With a heavy heart, Regina left the sanctuary of her home more determined than ever to figure out how to reverse Emma's misguided wish.


End file.
